Quarter Life Crisis or Just Choices?

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities
Albus Dumbledore –Harry Potter

I should’ve wrote this last November when I’m having my 25th birthday, but somehow I just don’t think that being 25 years are something special at that moment (I just live for today, and considering that every moment is treasure and none is better than the other). So what’s triggered me to write this? Well, recently my friend resign from his job (slave to wages and corporate robot) to became a librarian (suits his education background anyaway), lots of people said that his moves are crazy, how come he sacrifice a chance to became permanent public employee for a contract job as a librarian? Well, first his wage is bigger (most people said that this is just temporary “cure” for his financial situation, that if he patient to wait and stay, he will gain a stable job for the rest of his life), second this is the job that suits his education background and his interest.

Personaly, I support his decision, no matter how wrong or stupid his action (he is running away from his old job and from his responsible), at least he chose, unlike the rest of us (well. Actually not choose also a choice right?). His action triggered me to write this, suddenly I realize that I also has to act, I’m not young anymore, I’m 25 years old. The age limit to apply as a staff level job is 26 years old. The clock is ticking is for me. Did I chose a right job for the rest of my life? Should I move and start all over again (considering applying as a staff in other company is new start, literally, since my work background still one year experience, pre-requirement for a special hire or senior staff needs 2 year experience).

Considering that most of my friend who works as a temporary contract has a big salary and could provide a primary (food, shelter and clothes, not to forget saving some money for rainy day) and secondary needs (such as Playstation 3 or imported CD’s), while I’m still struggling to survive and fulfill the primary needs, and barely has money to save, it seems that once again, I’m at cross road of my life, damn!!! I’m 25, I’m gonna be 26 and I bet I still didn’t realize till it came, and I’m still live with my parent, still didn’t have enough money to go the gym or buy PS3, my parents bugging me about marriage (dude, how am I suppose to feed my own family when almost all my income is for you guys?).
What should I do now? What if I made a wrong choice? Am I in the “comfort zone”? No, I want to move but somehow the thought of having stable life stopped me, damn!!! This is comfort zone afterall. Why I must worried too much? Did family have any implication for this? Yeah, as a single guy I have too many things to worried, heh, not just a commitment phobia afterall.

I kinda remember “Cast Away” starring Tom Hanks, where in end of the movie, after he sends his assignment packages (one of the things that kept him survive and sane) he stands in a cross road. The movie ends there (sorry if you haven’t watch it), but that cross road and how he smiles is really packs a punch for me. It’s like, after all that has been happened (cast away, his fiancee married someone else, etc), there’s a brand new path for him, and he is free to choose and the clincher is, he is happy to face it!!! Freakin animal, how could he smile?!?!

But I do know this, thnx God (if he exist) that life is a multiple choice, nota an essay or fill in the blank (which I don’t know what to fill anyway. Our choice will lead us to a new path, a new opportunity. Maybe I chose a new path, maybe I won’t, that’s a choice will lead me to the uncertainty of the future. Sometimes it is nice to know that life is passing by wether you like it or not, and life is more than us, there’s a bigger picture, at least time won’t standing still, the world still moving and somehow a new path will open, good or bad, I’ll embrace it (as if I had any other option that is).


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