Shallow Victory

“I have sort of a picture perfect family. My parents are awesome and my brothers are like my best friends. But you change. You’re so yourself when you’re a little kid, and then you turn 13 and all of a sudden you are concerned about what you look like and you have all these insecurities. But, then, after you go through the different stages there’s like a sort of triumphant, ‘I’m done with that, and I’m becoming who I am.’ That’s where I am now, I think.”
Kristen Stewart

Don’t you think that this life is some sort of cheesy sequel episodes of soap opera that will never ending? I mean is a cycle of never ending story. Unlike fairy tale where the story ends with happy ending, our life story is a happy (n) ever after. It is just a battle after another battle, after another battle. We only gain a shallow victory. Once a battle win, there’s another battle waits.

Disagree? Let me put it this way, since I know how high expectation can lead to a stressful condition, I gave you a solid example, me. I was born as a boy, who is rare occasion in my family, so I was destined to bear the weight of the world on my shoulder (OK, Maybe a little exaggerated, but that’s how exactly my father want me to be, in father and son conversation). I was expected to be a doctor, but my brain ain’t big enough so I choose social study (which is quite a blow to my dad, and he didn’t mad, but have that clincher line “I’m not mad son, just disappointed,” ouch), so I passed to college without my father consent. At least it was some sort of triumph for a works that didn’t approve by your parent, at least he was proud for a moment (sorry I can’t be perfect dad).

After the celebration, just counting the days, than dad ask me, what am I gonna do with my life? What kind of work will I choose, after I work, your salary ain’t good enough, why don’t you try another job. It goes on like forever, as if all the accomplishments were a shallow victory, a dust in the wind. Can I just be cool and savor the moment for a while?

Well, that’s how the world works that somehow you just wanna shout out loud all the stress and burden inside, but then again, sometimes the world just getting in our way (most of the time). Sometimes our struggle is futile and we face a loosing battle, thus we all ends up bruised and broken (at least myself is).

What happened when we ends up bruised and broken? Some people tends to defy thing, to upset the establishment and screw the man above (a rebel baby, yeah!), while others tends to except and co-op (though some try to play by the rules for their own gain). Maybe that’s how hedonism (play by the rules, you know that work hard play hard thing) and punk (“I’m a rebel baby yeah” type) first breaks out, from the routine-nity and screw-nity of life (are those two a word that exist in vocabulary or thesaurus? I just like it though, kinda cool or bad @$$).

Look at the option that being mention above (defy or co-op), I think it would be wise to co-op with things, cuz “play the rules” is a defiance in the most insignificant or safe-play way, kinda punk don’t you think? Hey, the definition of punk itself also quite ambiguous nowadays (Punk-Rock is the new boy-band now, everybody’s doing it). Hedonism, is it wrong? I mean, to some extent, searching for pleasure is very human. What is the meaning to conquered the world if we can’t enjoy it or share it with someone special for us?

Well, of course complete hedonism is also wrong (too much of everything is wrong anyway). Well, I think that “sing for the moment” is an OK attitude, cuz if we don’t enjoy it; it passed before your eyes, without we noticed, without warning. So I think we should enjoy all this filth, crazy, beautiful world has to offer, all the good and bad, the ups and down. Just relax and enjoy the ride, just like my friend said, “a life that you can’t remember, that meant nothing to you, that has no special feeling-connection with you is not a life at all. Is just wasting our precious time, you’d better be dead if it happened to you, consider it never happened. We only live once dude”. Every (shallow) victory we gain is an achievement that should be celebrated, cuz it won’t last.


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