So, I‘m on the verge of nervous breakdown and finally reach my limit and somehow managed to get infected with “lust of power syndrome” (OK I made that up, still sounds cool though). This so called life has pitted me against everything I ever stands for. Sometimes I’d like to know what I’m fighting for before I die, did I fight for a lost cause? Some people chose their outlet for outrage on someone else (the path of destruction) and someone else chose to hide their rage away from the world and keep it to themselves (like me). The latter one is the one who has tendency to blow like an atomic bomb.
Just like the shooting spree in U.S.A. or unintentional killing by loved one in the fits of rage, this is what drives me in the first place to blog my thoughts (under the tag of dangerous mind”) cuz it’s some outlet of rage for me to cope with the office-life world, when people has to compromise their idealism in order to survive in this crazy cruel world. And somehow my works as human resources didn’t help me to reduce the stress I’m in.
Sure it’s fun to meet a new recruit (along with each individual uniqueness, sometimes with their good looking ness ^_^). And you know what makes life as human resources so hard? People have high expectancy on us, but human resources never have enough recognition or acknowledgement cuz it’s all in day’s job (not to be called an achievement). So of course there will be a time when one reach it limit and about to blow up, but don’t worry, it’s not like I’m gonna go on a killing spree or something. Just like I said before, blog it’s the outlet of my outrage, so I’m just try to cope with life, with a blog (did it work? I don’t know).
Some say that when you kill a man, you’re not just took his past and present life, but also his future, to think that kind of power exist in the grasp of such individual, oooh, tempting. So, as I infected with “lust of power syndrome” or I just lie to myself that I have all the power in this world to determine the fate of a man. Yes, as a human resource staff I have all the power to decide whose I gonna call for interview, whose I deem worthy to have an interview with us, whose to be listed at high potential / highly recommended or just so-so. I have this kind of power to decide fate of man.
For some man, the next day will be a big day with such high expectation in hope of better future, for me it’s just another day in paradise (pun intended). I may in a bad mood and just crash his/her life with making a domino effect of bad day just to annoy them (make them waiting in anxiety, ignore them, make them feel unwanted, etc). I could whisper some recommendation or just an advice to ditch ‘em. Wrath of God may befall on those I deem worthy to fell upon (by the power that was beseeched upon me, eat my $hit you son of a *itch!).
Oh’ to be a human resources also tempts you to a stalker, you have access to individual database. Their full names, address, birthday, parents, you want it I could get it, (Hell, I gave it away for the right price and so help me God I don’t turn into a psychopath here, kinda weird for an agnostic like me to write that).
Aaah, sometimes it’s so fun to be mad man with power, what? Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! (One of my favorite line from The Simpson movies, by the “great general” Russ Cargill). But then again, as I learned the hard way from life, all good things must come to an end, keep your feet in the ground when your head’s in the cloud. Reality bites me and realize that I’m just some parts of a bigger machine.
It’s true that I’m the first line of offence, but the outcome of recruitment lies in a bigger guys, the untouchables, the never wrong holy omnipotent dude-God called my supervisor (and his supervisor, and his supervisor and so on and so on). Reality sucks!!! But maybe that’s what life is, sucks! (What kind of thesis ends with no resolution like this? Hell, why does it have to be end to end? Just live life dudes, period, no question, the God has spoken).
Mad with power, and a strike a cool pose, what else could a man want?