As It Is

May we exist like a lotus. At home in the muddy water. Thus we bow to life as it is.
Ezra Bayda “At Home In The Muddy Water”

Well, something caught my eye when I went to work recently, when I passed others as I went to work. There’s so many people in this world (obvious though), well to be exact, there’s many people in my world. Whether I realized or not, there’s so many people came and go in my life, everyday, some left some impression, some don’t. Just like days in life, most days just begin and end without any lasting impression, no memories, uncharted in our life.

 

As I walk my way to work I suddenly realize that all these people are there for a reason (just like when my mom asked me why suddenly I want some toy in a toyshop, it’s there. It’s a fact and it’s reasonable enough for me to buy it). The beggar I passed by, the cute girl that just passed me by without seeing me. If it’s just like the universe told me that we all are a part of a bigger machine, a bigger picture. We all have our role in life that we have to play (and it’s make me wonder if the role we play is preordained or not).

 

A friend of mine once said that we live in the big Broadway stage that most of us play “other role” in our life. We put mask so we could play safe through our life. If it’s preordained, could we put a mask for it? Or maybe to live with mask is the role some of us have to play?

 

Back to the bigger machine or picture part, well, for a machine to works properly, all the parts must work adequately. If some parts are broken or malfunction, maybe the machine still works (improperly though) but not emitting it’s full potential (the machine it self has the potential to break down).

 

Well, this is not some life changing experience or great revelation that will change course of humanity or something, but it change the way I look at life. I always view my life as a pathetic insignificant existence, but somehow I always admire other less lucky people who work at public services as janitor or trash guy, without them society will crumble, eventually, but me? That’s a different story I guess. I always thought that without me the world will just keeps on turning, days gone by. Insignificant.

 

Well, I knew that the less lucky people (poor people, beggar on the street, sick and disabled people, etc) were there to make us realize how lucky we are or we just take everything for granted.
And U knows what makes me smile? Cuz I know that everyone is working hard to make the system works. Like how hard the mobile meatball seller (maybe it’s only in Indonesia that food seller is mobile, kinda cool and avant garde that the seller is approaching the customer that hard) kept wandering the street to sell his goods. Or how street janitor kept wake up early (04:00 in the morning just to keep the street clean with minimum wage, even I think that’s not adequate for living).

 

Or how I wonder a couple dare to married when they even have a hard time to survive, in today standard though (going to Mall, went to movies, etc). Just like an office boy of mine. When I asked him did he sure that he really want to marry? He said with such confidence (I could see from his eyes) that married is a choice, not a compulsory or just ritual. He believes that somehow life, also love, will find a way. And if he kept doubt whether he ready or not, he won’t get married. It’s one of those things that just have to fight and make way into it (kinda like how Batman believe that the only way to make sense or force your way into it). It’s beautiful and stupid at the same time, but if U asks me, that’s what life is.

 

Hell, even bad things such as criminal, failure, bad guy etc existed to make us realize that life is bitch (sometimes), there’s always ups and down. The comfort of knowing that probably there’s someone out there more suffer than us, or at least share the same suffer. We lose some we win some. No pain o gain, etc. I even believe for everything that we lost or sacrifice, there’s something we also gain in return, that’s how the world works I guess (or God if U believe in that concept, works in mysterious way).

 

After I realize that everyone play a role in order to keep the system / world working properly. I know that my existence is significant nonetheless. At least now I’m convince that if I’m gone at least there are some people who will miss me, mourn over me or even love me (at least I can tell from facebook that the girl that I don’t give a damn or just thought as a friend find me attractive or willing to be my girl if only I make the first move to ask them (it’s true I swear dude). And somehow I heard that my work performance is quite appreciated by others in my work place, and at my birth day at 12th November, my facebook wall quite jam-packed with congrats note, even when Lebaran came (Moslem version of Christmas in case U didn’t know), I get SMS congrats from all the people that I recruit before. It makes me more psyche to work, to make the system works properly.

 

So I guess that we just have to grateful for all that we’ve got. We don’t know what we got till it’s gone, or to make yourself feel better if the world is against you, what U don’t have U don’t need them now, what U can’t get U don’t need it somehow. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. May we exist like a lotus. At home in the muddy water. Thus we bow to life as it is. I hope I could see life as it is, beautiful, stupid, but I just can’t get enough of it since it is the one we make with our own hand.

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