A Perfect Circle

Live fast die young, at least you leave a good looking corpse

Selina Kyle A.K.A. Cat Woman

I kinda agree with what Selina said once, people said that it’s better stop or retired when you’re on top. Everyone will remember you as a great person, as a great athlete or something, anything no one will remember the downfall.

But as I grow older, my views are changed, though I prefer to call it modified. Well, my relatives died recently, my grandma from my mother’s line departed at 5th of September 2010. She was a great person, maybe I didn’t know her well, but knowing that we all love and care for her is quite a valid proof that she is a good person.

Some sign of condolences from one of her acquaintance

A wife of a great man, my grandpa is some sort of legend, Rosihan Anwar if U knew him. I see a man change from somebody into nobody when my grandma died. But he accepted it, he enjoyed it, hell he even looks happier to see that we all mourn for her departed. It’s really soothing to see him smile in front of her, I don’t know if it’ polite or not, corpse. I bet both of them live their life to the fullest and happy with it.

It reminds me that someday, maybe today maybe tomorrow, that I’m gonna be dead. How I’m gonna live my life. Who am I? I’m just like somebody else, common people with ordinary life, ordinary dream who probably died in ordinary way, hell I’m just a battery losing it’s power, waiting the “empty” sign to appear. It’s strange how I imagine we all just a battery that can’t be re-charged, just like a lesser being whose purpose just to support the superior race existence.

Not a battery, but we really have something in common

But then again, here I am, alive and well, it means something isn’t it? I’m here for a reason that I don’t know, and I remember all the death and birth in my life. And somehow I think I conclude a thought bout how I live my life. Just like when I see my cousin gave a birth to a beautiful son, the baby cried cuz he know he entered a war zone, drafted from a happy place, descent into a world full of sin. But we all smiled when we looking at him cried. Somehow we welcomed and embraced him into our world, told him that he’s not alone facing this world. That made me realize what is the most important things in this world, family, home, a sense of belonging. I wanna live my life to make them happy.

I don’t care how petty I am, how awful my job is, as long as they are happy. To watch my offspring grow and became something, anything, as long they are happy and good. It’s strange to hear something like this came out from me, a commitment phobia and single fighter, but hell! I hope I’m old before I die, and I hope I had the chance to witness my offspring becoming something.

When I’m died, I hope I will become just like my grandma, everyone gathering at her funeral, her children, her peer, etc. We all cried for something that most of us didn’t know why. Maybe we just sad, maybe we denying the fact that we loosing a family, or we just wanna cry. But somehow I think it’s just the same way like when we were birth to this world, we cry everyone smile, when we die, we smile everyone cry. It’s a sign that we miss and we say goodbye to our loved one. I wanna be just like her a complete full circle.

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