This Fragile Memory of Mine

Mr. Taximan take me away somewhere that I can put you out of my head my heart my soul / and  burn this feeling go

But save my good memories

Save, I’m begging please

“The Breakup”-Andre Harihandoyo & Sonic People

So, my faithful USB flash disk suddenly broke. Funny thing is, I should’ve swear like I never swear before but I didn’t. I knew that in my USB I store some very important data (such as mp3, jpeg, porno he he and some job data from office to also) but somehow I didn’t get as furious as I thought I should be cuz I didn’t exactly remember about the whole data on that USB Flash.

This guy killed in action
My little guy went AWOL

When this sign showed up, I just forgot all the data that I was once stored within the USB-Flash, I completely-totally forgot it. That’s When it hits me, “WOW, do I have such a fragile memory or what?” Then I started to doubt my own memory, did what I remember is true? I mean, if I totally forgot about the data that I store in my USB-Flash, I don’t think I remember every memory that was stored in my brain. Did I remember it right, just the way it exactly happened? Did I in some way or another I “twist” it or maybe add some spice here and there? As a disorganized person (I never use an agenda or even write a diary, probably blog is one of those thing that falls into that criteria of organized but even this blog sucks and didn’t have a linear time-line) I have every right reason to doubt whether my memory is valid or not.

Damn, how I wish that my memory is just like computer or machine that have built in memory back-up that works “properly” (wait, I already have a brain that somehow kinda malfunctioned that works, though not “properly”), though computer can be corrupted in terms of data but still it’s more reliable than us, at least they store data as it is. If my work just 25% done, than the memory save it as it is, 25% done. If I store it in my brain, I could, in some way, twist it, add or cut something from it, maybe my 25% done will changed into 40% for some reason. Hell, a room could be bigger, a girl could be prettier, or some colors are changed in my memory!

Does he actually rocks?

So I’m in the state of shock knowing that maybe all of my memory have a potential to be “corrupted”, to know that I can lie to myself by in some way fabricating my own memory to suit my preferences. Nooooooo! Can you imagine that the game that I love the most maybe sucks? Maybe Limp Bizkit does ROCKS? Maybe I live a sad, lonely and miserable life (maybe I guess)? Maybe I’m a genuine devoted Moslem? Wow, I even begin to doubt my own identity.

Bottom line? Cool! I can play make-believe with my own mind. I can pretend that the world is such a perfect place and suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste or when the judgment day come I could laid back, relax and sit with style when the world is coming to an end cuz in my mind, everything is OK, thus maybe my last dying word is “So…freakin awesome…” he he


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