“Tell me Sir, how does it feel to know that every secret in your head will soon be utilized by your hated opposition? That your mind and body will be subjected to such intense torture that every second will feel like and hour and every minute like a full calendar year,” Terrorist said.
“Buddy, I think you’ve just described two of my last three marriage.” Nick Fury replied.
Ultimate X Men TPB Vol.2, Return to Weapon X.
Last week end at 3rd of October 2010, a friend of mine held his marriage party at Bandung, West Java. Congrats for him cuz WOW, I don’t think most of us have enough guts to get married. It’s just like something out of this world to “endure” such commitment, kudos for my friend Rizky that he manage to get married.
Marriage, engagement, some of words that struck fear into the heart of a modern man. Knowing that for the rest of our life we will spend our life with only one person. Frightening if we chose a wrong companion, just like picking a cat in a cradle full of cats. Is he/she the right one? What if I found another one? What if …?
Honestly, reasons like that, commitment phobia, etc are so out dated, and far too shallow for its own good. Still marriage and engagement are struck fear to our heart. Probably the only bonding relationship that most people less afraid are “bondage” in hardcore porn video.
People nowadays are infected not only with a disease called commitment phobia and every attachment that came with it. Commitment phobia is far too common, but the attachment is a different story. This attachment shoulda-woulda-coulda come with various incarnations. For example, let’s say that I had a crush to a girl from the moment I laid my everlasting gaze at her, and then I kept thinking, “is she the one?” I mean, is it “love” at first sight? I know I had something from the first time I saw her, but looks can be deceiving, and “lust” is what we, man are bound to. Just like that smokin’-hot person you lusted after in high school, once you peel back the outer layer (and for God sake I didn’t mean his/her clothing you perv), there’s distressingly little substance that will last. Same case with first impression, we could manipulate our persona, our attitude to impress someone in first meeting right? If you ask me, love at first sight is just a temporary feeling, an outburst uncontrolled emotion who will faded eventually (as an Indonesian Javanese, I more believe the old saying, love come because you used to that someone, it’s a wonder knowing how few divorce back then when my parents just match made and not find true love on its own).
But our fear to take relationship to the next level, and not the breaking up level like I used to, could be something came from the attachment. Our mind plays tricks with us, especially if you like to be called a straightforward thinker. Many considerations make us afraid to take relationship to the next level, some like “could I afford an adequate living for my future family?”, “what about kids expenses? Their school, their needs? What about other expenses like bills (not including “Kill Bill” or Bill Clinton), telephone, credit card?” Just like taking a trip on the land of uncertainty and poor state of living.
Don’t forget the “freedom” issue. If we married, say goodbye to night life, smoking, hanging out too much and could mean a career killer especially if you happen to be woman (cuz the pregnancy, or the urge to become a house- wife/mother). Even if some people didn’t into believe “till death do us part” and divorce is OK, it’s still pain in the bottom to taking care of the left over, such as heritage, asset, even debt.
Don’t forget the flesh-eating monster called “the in-laws”. What a scary scene if you met this “in-laws” and they didn’t like you. Maybe we manage to get passed them and married, but we also stuck with this blood sucking, flesh eating, and annoying in-laws for the rest of our marriage life.
And if you are a psycho-paranoid like me, there’s other consideration to attend to. Knowing how bad global warming is (seeing to much discovery channel and “inconvenient truth”, thanks Al-G, very inspiring movie), and knowing how far evolution take us to the state that we became so savage and cruel, I don’t think I wanna live in a future like that. And I don’t wanna make my children feels the same way, so let’s just break the cycle OK?
We should have a clone technology to fix offspring issue in the future right? What’s the point of marriage? Sex? Ooh, I believe masturbation is not a crime, like raping or killing someone’s. What about the so-called Mr/Mrs Right? All I know that I’m Mr. Right-now, take it or leave it babe. Say “thank god” to one night stand or whatever you called it.
This attachment is so annoying that it can be ignored. But somehow I forgot, we forgot the very essence of marriage is, to share our life with someone (though it’s a wrong one). We are not alone anymore in this already uncertainty life we messed into. We should be happy that we are on a road to decimation, extinction, death, pain and agony, etc tour, with someone else. Hey, like they say, “misery loves company”. So the point of this pathetic writing is, singled out? Hell no, it’s in baby! And never leave da house!! Unless if you brave enough to get married, and if you ask me, marriage is a price most men pay for sex.