Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all
Harriet Van Horne
After went to many wedding party and chat with the bridesmaid and bridegroom asking why they even have the guts to get married in the first place (knowing how hard to get a decent life in Jakarta or any place on earth today. And how expensive child’s fund are, e.g. tuition, food, education, leisure, etc) and their answer is really astounded me in some way. They say that in life there are couples of things that need to be forced in order to be happened and one of those things is marriage.
Just like my office boy Mr. Asmuni said, he said that marriage, (or any
kind of action that we will take) that began with noble and good intention will brought good things. That goods will be there by the grace of God (though I more believe that road to hell is paved with good intention he he).
Last week, I went into my parent-friends whose son held a wedding party at Bandung (convoluted? U betcha cuz me myself have no idea but since my parents drag me all the way to Bandung, probably this is important) and to my surprise the party kinda well, not crowded, not as crowded as a wedding party should be though. After a little detective work I found out that the couple is a “runaway”, the man is changing his faith in order to married the woman thus his family banish, exile, curse or any other variant him from their family. Wow, what a price to pay for love, no for a marriage to be exact.
If U use logic, marriage is a “no entry zone” with the increasing divorce rate, failed marriage, affair, and case of family abuse, primal scream, dysfunctional family and domestic violence, etc, also encouraged by economical reason makes marriage seems like a dumb/stupid idea. Like a bad investment written all over it or like bet on a sick-dying horse on a race, like a dead end with no way out. But these people willing to bet on it. Maybe cuz in Indonesia there are some believes that marriage, child birth or any significance action in our life is bound to bring changes in our course of life (whether for good or bad, especially for Javanese). And for Indonesian, marriage is considered as an act of devotion by some religion (so obviously this requires an absence of logic).
I just remember another quote from Jurassic Park II (before the third that suck third sequel ruin the franchise) that probably explains that sometimes we need to absence something to make something happens :
These creatures require our absence to survive, not our help. And if we could only step aside and trust in nature, life will find a way
John Hammond – The Lost World : Jurassic Park
That quote probably didn’t answers my question why those people even bother to get married and the word “creatures” is open for any kind of interpretation (though in the movie it’s obvious that we talk about giant lizard but we can interpret it any way we want here). Maybe to be more religious, in Islam there’s a thing called “pasrah” in Indonesian language or “submit” where people leave everything to God after they put every effort they have to offer in hope that this act of submission will grant God blessing upon our endeavor.
Then again, life’s a bitch (so don’t marry one ^_^) and the only way to make through this sick and chaos world is (just like Batman sez above) is to force our way into it, to get a little crazy (if that doesn’t sounds rather underestimating the uncertainty of life) then maybe the reality bites will have a little pity or maybe we can find some crack in life “solid-armor” so that we can break through to achieved our ends, to fulfill our urge.
And the urge to do something is really, really heavy. I mean, have U considered how it feels to deny that kinda urge? The itching, like some pimple that needs to be pressed, like a switch that have “touch here” signs, the sensation of doing it, the illusion of grandeur? No wonder most of us pushed our self to the limit just to do it, whatever that ”it” maybe (could be marriage, the temptation to have sex legally or other stuff).
Just like faith, this thing, it’s not something that we should fully understand it, to know it, to touch and feel it (to be romantic maybe love also lies in this category also). Faith is something just happened to be there, something that we have from the start, something to believe or to hold on when everything’s falls apart. Some found it on religion, some found it on their special one, even as a guy with tendency to become atheist I do have some faith on something. Bottom-line, faith is not something that U understands it is something that just we know or we have. It’s just there, even for a reason that we don’t or didn’t understand yet.
Somehow I remember that hentai movie called Shusaku Replay (OK the
source is sick but that doesn’t mean what I will tell is sick, please look through the smoke and mirror here) which somehow conclude that sometimes, something in life aren’t meant to be discovered or knows (in this movie is desire and pleasure of sex that drives everyone, absolutely everyone in this movie insane and addicted!). If we cross that line, we never know what lays ahead, either it’s good or bad, there’s always a price to pay. Knowing that, humans with it’s “intelligent” somehow abandon logic and step forward order to fulfill their curiosity and to answer the “what if” question (but these attitude that lead us toward modernization, so I guess I could support this train of thought) to know the unknown or at least taste the unknown.
So, after all that convoluted babbling, back to the question will I ever get married and will life will smile and give us some break to enjoys life as it is, as a family? Will “life” find a way for us? Most likely, though I don’t have any dead-line or target whatsoever, guess this is one of those things that I just let it go with the flow. Hell, life will find a way, whatever will be, will be. Que sera-sera (How’s that for a complete useless conclusion?). Guess I just stuck to my previous blog about marriage ha ha ha. Hell, life will find a way they say and Just like Dr. Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park said :
~ John, the kind of control you’re attempting is not possible. If there’s one thing the history of evolution has taught us, it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free. It expands to new territories. It crashes through barriers painfully, maybe even dangerously, but – well, there it is. ~