Failure to Launch

Recently, I was consulted by one of the new employee who wants to resign from the bank that we were work at the moment (that due to some code of ethic, and other code I can’t gave the name) and work in a convenience store retail chain as a management trainee (now he is working as staff). Most people will see his action as some dumb move, from a Bank into a convenient store with a “circle” (already know?), but somehow I can accept his train of thought.

He said that as a staff he must wait approximately 5 years more or less, before have the chance to promoted (but before promoted we have to take a test, so just like doing all over again) so he think it would be better to start new stuff as manager trainee (which somehow I support).

But the think that really hits me in the spot is when he said that he already 24 year but he still “nothing”, don’t have a house, car, even not married yet. While he said that to himself, somehow I felt offended or intrigued by it, I mean, a 24 year old kid worries ‘bout his future while me, 27 old boy who still live a careless life, happy-go-lucky and doesn’t give a damn about my future (OK, I’m a nihilist and a person who loves just to sing for the moment but it doesn’t make sense, even for me).

Somehow, I remember the film starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew

Really fits me at the moment

McConaughey called “Failure to launch” which somehow depicts an imperfect picture of me. An adult who already established, have a stable career, but still lives with his parents, thus the title “Failure to launch” derived. But that happened in USA, there, after 17 years usually live separate from parents in order to gain manhood or rite of passage into adult world (in order to conduct adultery ^_^).

$hit! It’s like a sign of time coming right straight to my face with the speed of light. KAPOW! A straight hook that delivering a KO blow at me. Somehow the universe is trying to tell me that I need to wake up and do something with my pathetic life. A 24 year old kid is telling me to, not explicitly, do something with my life. I’m already 27, am I still thinking that I will be dead just like Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain or Janis Joplin and join the elite club of 27, where most of the celebrity died at 27.

Thinking about it, probably I will still live beyond 27, what should I do? Do I pretend to believe that the world will end in 2012, if it’s true, I will loan some money from bank and waste it anyway I want. I’m not gonna live beyond 2012 to pay for it anyway. But we always have plan B right? What will I do incase that the world doesn’t end at 2012? Guess I have to start to change my way of life.

Reviewing my life, I wonder what people will remember about me. An elephant leaves their trunks, some people leaves notorious or even good reputation. What would people remember about me, cuz I don’t think I “touch” others. I always in someway detached myself from any kind of commitment from others. Maybe it’s my lonely nature or I just don’t trust others, but I guess I just don’t want to be, I don’t know, being someone else’s someone.

Maybe cuz I like Batman that I am a loner, but as a human I need other in order to survive, even Batman hi8mself have a big Bat-family, either he buy it or not. I mean there are 5 Robin, 3 Batgirl, even now Batman established Batman Inc, and he recruits others to join his crusade against crime in the whole globe. So I guess I have to restart my decision to commit celibacy (OK, I could deal with that though this isn’t a priority). Maybe the 3 options that I mentioned in my previous blog still applies ^_^. And I still don’t see the urgency of getting married, or even having a girl at the moment.

About living with parents, I don’t think I could leave my parents, it’s like some act of reciprocity, they take care of me when I was young, now it’s my time to take care of them. I guess I just leave this at that.

What else? Well, about how my friend said ‘bout how I should act as an adult? What is an adult? Man who old enough to commits adultery? Man after age of 17? What’s wrong with being 27 and still collecting figure and comic, still otaku/fan-boy? I mean George Bernard Shaw says this “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing” so I guess I understand why kids kinda attached to me (though honestly I don’t a kid-lover type, not the pedophilic type, I just considering them kind of a burden). Guess I’m not into this also.

 

Just to summarize, I don’t think I willing to change! I don’t know whether this is a comfort zone or not. I guess I’m just satisfied with myself at the moment. I know I have to change, but I guess I’m just too lazy. Hell, if I have to change, I change it little by little, one step at a time. Gonna start my revolution from my bed and where I might go still a mystery that waits to be unravel. Maybe I’m not a failure to launch afterall? At least I have some intention to change ^_^.

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