A Want is Not A Need?

The Heart wants what it wants

Woody Allen

Recently, I watched “Just Alvin” a TV show in the same vein of “Oprah Winfrey Show” but more focused on public figure and the issue they were dealing at the moment. I watch the rerun episode where Alvin, the presenter, is reminiscing all the episodes where he thought was one of the best so far (he already aired for I don’t know, 2 years?

One of the episode is where one of the popular singer of Indonesia, Krisdayanti was interviewed and Alvin asks why did he “leave” his now ex-husband, Anang to pursuit his now-husband, Raul Lemos? Her answer was, at least to me, an eye opener about women in general (at least I could stereotype it). Remember that I wrote the difference between men & women in my previous blog and how women are more drive by instinct and feeling? It applied here, but I won’t jump that only women could do the act I about to tell cuz I believe men could also do this act.

Krisdayanti answer that question with such honesty (at least in my eyes), naiveté and innocence that makes everyone shocked (at least me) regarding why did he leave her ex-husband, Anang, she said that (sorry if I mistyped or misquote or something in-between but I just gonna spill the essence or the point that she mentioned)  the very reason that she left her husband is the fact that after all this year she realized that her husband is an equal, a partner (most people knew that in the beginning, Krisdayanti is the one who chased Anang) and somehow, either cuz it’s her ego or her natural instinct as a women (she said that), she needs a man who could protect her, to guard her, lead her, to be her place to lean on, a guiding light and Anang can “no longer” or maybe just simply can’t I don’t know, to give her that feeling.

Anang, Krisdayanti, Raul

WOW, after all those year she just realized that? Wow, and Anang himself is taking this “blow” with an act of submission (in one of his interview Anang state that he knew that he is no longer her leader, he is out of her league, I mean C’mon! Act like a man! Bring a little fight-back here dude! She is Ur wife, at that moment, anyway!). This is just wow!! She just realized that Anang is what she want not what she need! This is intriguing, I mean, can we really tell the difference between a want and a need?

In my previous blog I state that if we use car as an analogy, I could drive any car I want but that doesn’t necessarily means I should buy them (well buy its strong word but I guess if I had to choose is more appropriate). And that still needs some time to differentiate what is a want & what is a need. What if we can’t tell the difference? I mean, most people said, listen to Ur heart cuz it won’t lie, at least to U. But just like Woody Allen mentioned, “The heart wants what it wants”. Yes it won’t lie and it would tell U what U really wants but would it tell U what U needs?

I’m the one who defy believing love at first sight cuz I think when I want something from the very first time, it would be lust rather than love. And it takes time to know what I really needs, sometimes what we need is usually what we already have but we never know what we got till it’s gone (a cruel divine comedy). If U need some personal explanation, it takes time to know that someone is the best I never had (& I don’t wanna go there) or my self denial when I can’t buy something, “What U don’t have U don’t need it now. What U can’t have U don’t need it somehow” kinda cool self denial ^_^.

I heard this once, but I forgot who told me, “There’s a big difference between I love U cuz I need U & I need U cuz I love U” & I still can’t figure it out. But if I learn something from my blog, I learn that a want is not a need, just like blog about car I mentioned earlier and another blog about girl I like, I realized that the girl I like is making me believes a want is not a need, if a car can be analogized, she is my Hummer that I want, but not what I need. What I need is a city car. Affordable, reliable and do serve its purpose nonetheless (I don’t think this can be applied in real life cuz I don’t think any girl would want to be my replaceable parts, everyone deserves a special spot as somebody’s someone).

Guilty parties

Look at Lady Diana & Prince Charles, he realize that Diana is not what he want (or need I don’t know) and she rather chose Camilla or any other example. Even mature people still can tell the difference between wants and needs. Wow, this is intriguing. I could list this but the list will be longer than the river of nil, Arnold Schwarzenegger that having affair, that IMF boss that have sexual abuse, ex-New York mayor that also having an affair. Look at what they already have, they don’t know what is a want and what is a need.

I still can’t tell the difference between needs and wants, hell! Maybe it’s not our job or obligation to know it, but to time (or God, or any other form of deity U worship) that will tell and explain it to us. After all, it’s not our right to judge, it’s for God and those who works as judge ^_^. As for us, guess we just have to do crash course, trial & error, heart-break, crash & burn, etc to know what we truly needs, to separate it from what we wants. Want thing for sure, “The heart wants what it wants” and it never lie to us. Whether we need it or not is…we’ll see later I guess, kinda like “shot first ask later” situation. God help us all (wow, I just use the “G” word ^_^).

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