Alone

“We’re a nation of somnambulists. And where there are people awake, there’s money to be made… There were lots of theories on why we don’t sleep enough– everything from stress at the office to too much caffeine… But I got my own, simpler theory… I think a lot of people just lead lonely lives… And there’s something comforting knowing there are a lot of other lonely people out there too, watching the same crappy movie you’re watching at two in the morning… Yeah… it’s about being alone… in a city of millions… I can relate.”

Dick Grayson/Nightwing (Nightwing #123)

Something are always bothers me every time I went in da club on Saturday night (I rarely do this, maybe in my college year only). I always wonder why these people are so addicted to clubbing scene. Why they are so enjoys it. But then I probably think it’s probably because I don’t really like clubbing. I prefer watching live music or a concert. But then again, after being trapped with my friend in the clubbing scene I notice something strange, there are also people like me who just didn’t enjoy the scene, didn’t enjoy the crowd, but it’s not just in the clubbing scene, even in the concert where almost everyone just dancing in the mosh pit, there are a number of people who just stand there with blank eye, and just seems out of place. It’s everywhere, I see people like me, alone. I even see it in everyone, I see the loneliness.

I’m very confused with this, I mean, we live in a very modern and sophisticated age. We became borderless, even nation-less. Miles don’t mean anything in this telecommunication-modern era (with Twitter, facebook and other social media). But why we feel so alone? There are a lot of tools to distract our mind from loneliness, from emptiness, but still we feel alone. If we live in the old days where there are no technology, I think it’s acceptable for us to feel alone (at least we lost contact due to the limitation of technology, even our day is over by the time the sun set and there’s no electricity). There are telephone, internet, e-mail, DVD player, TV, Audio system, video game, MMORPG, social site (twitter, facebook, myspace) etc. But still we feel lonely.

I don’t know why, but it seems that the old days are doing a lot better than us. In the old days, long distance relationship is not such a big issue, social life even seems a lot better in the old days. Maybe we became too selfish, too introvert, but why? Is it because the technology that were supposed to help and make our life easier is somehow isolate us, alienated us from each other, from the world it self? Sometimes I even feel more, well some sort of care, more give a damn about my notebook or Playstation, or even toys than my family (I even had a dream that I rescue my personal belonging than my family in the fire), we became attach by it, or even more connected by it than our surrounding, we just don’t give a damn about what happen between us. Thus it leads us to loneliness.

In Japan there’s a term “Hikikomori”, a type of person who live a solitary life, an unsocial type of person, this phenomenon also happens anywhere in this world. There’s no problem with it, it just if we know it, even if we just classified it, or at the least name it, it means that we just acknowledged it, accept it, give it a rights and also an obligation. Overall, we are OK with it, with something that once unacceptable in the past. Just like “gay thing”, we just told our parents if they can accept it, or just live with it, but now gay is almost OK, and acceptable in our society (I’m not a homophobic, it’s just amazing how fast we can accept new values). Back to topic, we gave it a name, we accept it, it means we’re OK with people who chose loneliness, who chose solitary life, just like we are OK with gay, and we’re OK with it as long as they are not interfering with our life, or they are not one of our relatives.

Is it because “fascism”, not the old age term, but the new age, in the era of technology, where people still an apathy and pacifist creature, we ignore each other, hell, people are ignorant. And somehow this ignorant, this apathy between us create an empty, an shallow creature that needs to be “filled” with something, and this fulfillment sometimes ends up in the wrong side, usually in consumptive behavior or something destructive, whether literally or not, that lead us into loneliness.

Or is it just the fact that misery loves company or what I don’t know? We are OK with it cuz deep down inside we know that we feel a lot better knowing that there is actually someone else who is more miserable than us, or there is a sense of easy, some comfort knowing that there is someone else who feel just like us or even as miserable as us in some degree. That is why I love so called emo genre, or why a lot of people dig slow love music with cheesy love lyrics or dig the cheesy cliché love movies. Or is it just the way of the world that leads us all to loneliness.

It’s not like we all are tough bad-a$$ that doesn’t need anyone, we do need anyone in some degree, but it’s just seems easier to be unattached, to be free from some bond, even if it’s family ties. It easier to run isn’t it? To have an “emergency exit” that you can just open, shut, and you’re safe from this world, alone. Maybe we need sometimes to be alone sometimes he he he we all die and buried alone right? Maybe it’s just some nature call or something. To feel alone and prepared us when the “day come” when every man for himself literally (WOW, I do believe in afterlife after all).

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