When You Still Young

And it really doesn’t matter that we don’t eat
And it really doesn’t matter that we don’t sleep
It really doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter at all

So Young” – The Corrs

6th of July, my sister celebrate her 31st anniversary (Happy birthday to her) and that’s BIG, I mean she is entering the big three, officially, 30th just a kick start. This makes me realize that time are passing us in a speed of light! WOW.

I realize that I’m not young anymore, honestly I already feels old by the time I hit 23 and start to works. Now I’m 27, and I’m gonna be 28 this November, Wow, looking back to what I did in all those yesterday, all the mess I made, I wonder how I could fix this wreckage, worst, I don’t feel like I should cuz somehow I was content with everything that ever happened ^_^. But recently, I changed, a bit though. Started with when my friend action to resign from the office, that was kinda a wake up call.

Somehow her action is made me realize that I have to do something with my life and yes, she somehow become part of my life that really matters (hate to admit, but she was well, errrr, I don’t know, awesome? Damn U woman ha ha). Point is, she makes me realize what kinda mess I was & I have to make an amends for everything I did. So here I am counting scar, wounds of life & ending upset ^_^ then I have to move on and make something out of nothing he he.

If U think about it, youth, young, naïve is such a blessing. I remember when I was little, circa 6 or 7 years old, I always wanna be a teenager, I wonder what kind of stupid things I could do ^_^. I was so excited then teenager age comes and U know what? It’s overrated he he. Maybe I ain’t partying or free sex so I don’t think teenager was excited or what, but maybe my nerdy attitude makes me feel that 13-15 years old was the best (most people think 17 is the turning point & I consider 13-15 not teen cuz we still kids he he) cuz that’s where me & my friend is becoming a true otaku, a true nerd (Nerd & proud of it ^_^). Oh, those beautiful sleepless night playing video game, collecting miscellaneous of Japanese and comic stuff he he. But then again, teenager was fun cuz we are not boy & not yet a man (though honestly man will never grow up, we always be boys he he)

After teenager, I was entering college with little worried cuz somehow I don’t think my future was “ooh so bright I gotta wear shade” but rather gloomy & uncertain. But life goes on thus I become a college student with all the perks and glory. College years was cool cuz I started to become a grown up & take full responsibility of my life (with the financial help from parent ^_^). And 21 were rocks!!! U feels like top of the world!! U could do everything, anything, we know everything & no one could tell us what to do. Legal to drinks (if U naughty maybe friends with benefit ha ha ha) Aah, youth ^_^.

WOW, being young is such a luxury. When we were young, we are bound to be cocky, to be reckless, to be naïve. We learn the hard way when we were young (cuz we are stubborn and know it all). When we were young, we just do things, even without a second doubt, a second thought. We just want to & that’s already enough reason for us to do it. And cuz we are young, we doesn’t know yet what we really wants or needs & we really don’t give a damn about it. It doesn’t matter if we don’t eat, if we don’t sleep. Damn I miss those glorious day he he. Shoot first, shoot ‘em all, shoot everything, then ask he he he.

Being young also means that we need to made mistake, & learn the hard way from it, cuz all the pile of  mess we made are the experience we need in order to determine what we really wants & needs. So when the time comes, we could answer it with a firm notion what we really wants to be, what do we needs in order to achieve it.

When I was 21, if I were given 2 Million Rupiah (even just 1 million) to go abroad, I go without a second doubt, hell the only thing that matters is that I go. But when we are above 25 (say near 30) we start to think will I make it with just 1 or 2 million? What will I do once I go abroad & other stupid consideration (DAMN it sucks to grown up)

Damn (again), now that I think of it, I kinda wasted my youth, even my childhood! I was born at the end semester, I was born on November, and I classified the kids who were born at 2nd semester as the 2nd semester boys (or girls). Here in Indonesia if U wanna enroll in elementary school, especially in private school (with all the best education & facility), U have to be 6 years old & since I’m born at 2nd semester, I have to wait for another years in order to be qualified to enroll (most of my friend just enter public / national school where they don’t give a damn whether U are 5 years old or not (I was robbed by my parent1 year of my life. 1 year that I will never get back!!!!).

So, I was late at the start & I also a failure to launch, most people just consider to raise white flag but not me. I just realize since I was in a serious relationship with that friend of mine that was resign from the office that I mention earlier, somehow I found the urge to make a better living for me (and for her and for us ha ha ha never really knew I could be such hopeless-foolish romantic like this ^_^). Well, looking back at everything I done, probably I realize that in my own way I live my life to the fullest, at the very least to the fullest that I can, of course there’s regret here & there but that is normal, the most important thing is that I still have hope for a better tomorrow (still I can’t believe I changed my attitude cuz a girl ha ha ha). Everyone should’ve “all system go” when they still young. It’s not like we gonna live or young forever anyway. Just like Nike commercial Just do it!!!!

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