Oh, The Drama…Melancholia

Kinda cool eh?

Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this: the peak of your civilization.

Agent Smith

Nothing left to do since the holiday come & gone & after re-watching The Matrix trilogy (still I think it’s better if they just leave at the first movie, it will be a cult movie/ a legend even, but instead we were left with dissatisfaction cuz the 2nd & the 3rd movie is not as good as the first one, in my personal opinion…SUCKS), from that quote I realize that, as a creature, we dig the drama.

Yes, like it or not, no matter how tough or macho we are, we all Metal (mellow – totally) on the inside. It’s the reason why ballad song is more often to reach the highest position on chart or became the best selling single (e.g. My Heart Will Go On or any other mellow-whining awful-slow song). Deny any way U want it, even if U love hardcore grindcore or any other core, there is/are special song that supposed to be a ballad or sort (probably love song, or to be exact, heart break song ^_^ admit it he he) that would be the soundtrack of U’r miserable life ha ha ha. Or usually the movie that won the Grammy or Academy Award is drama genre, colossal or any weenie-whiny or over dramatic tone movie.

I don’t know why? But I guess we, human, I don’t know if any other creature also have the same tendency, we tends to be mellow. Maybe not mellow, more like introspective or contemplative. Or just like the quote, we don’t like if things go too smooth, we need some, diversion, a little action, some spices in our so-called-dull-life. I think I remember there’s a neighbor of mine that were divorced cuz their marriage is too smooth, too calm without any ripple, thus the husband is having an affair with co-worker that have a problem with her life (fights with parents, failure in love-life & lost virginity to her boyfriend and other things that I don’t know or don’t care about; so the drama ^_^). Yeah, guess problem is a friend after all, spices of life.

Or maybe we give our greatest salute to those who could overcome obstacle and prevail. We need those problems, those dramas as a bar of standard whether we are tough or not. Yeah we need some catalyst or trigger to makes us strive for the better.

Or…this is my personal opinion, humans are downright pessimistic bastard (I’m kinda optimist for a pessimist) and have suicidal tendency. Believe it or not, I think humans are the only creature that has the ability to hates himself (thus he hates everything) and have the right mind to commit suicide. Didn’t believe it? Ever see an animal commits suicide? Yes maybe elephant will leave the pack when they know their time has come and they came to the place where all their kind is resides after the final breath has gone (thus come the term “elephant graveyard) or maybe other animal has this “ritual” (that humans copy, thus came the basic combat triage “leave the dying to die). Or have U ever see a horse, racing horse to be exact, killing themselves? No, it’s human that kills racing horse if the horse is broken, handicap or having any kind of disadvantage and as a justification we said it’s a mercy killing cuz the horse has lost its purpose as a racing horse (who are them to judge!!! I know this thing cuz where I live, it used to be a ranch for racing horse in Pulo Mas Jakarta) and they said that in foreign land, the racing horse is killed if they are can’t race anymore, in Pulo Mas they said the horse are bred but won’t participate in race ever again.

Or….again my personal opinion, the drama is happens unintentionally. It’s like $hit happens. Usually cuz humans are majority competitive, we love to made our opponent (such as if U are not one of us, U are our enemy) to failed…MISERABLY ^_^. And those act of competitiveness made the drama (conflict, war, etc), not only for the opponent, but also for the winner (such as whether if it’s ethic or fair to use some method to win or any other self doubt or introspective moment). Then again, how boring life will be without the drama ^_^.

I stick to the theory that humans are downright pessimistic bastard and have suicidal

emo baby wooho

tendency. Set myself for example, sometimes I need myself to be melancholic in order to keep myself sane (or insane?). And as a creature with the capability to hate himself and commits suicide, I already gave much thought about what if I commits suicide, which somehow is easy knowing there are zillions way to die (and how to commits it effectively) and only a handful, tiny, little, mini way to live life (that suits our preference at least). So, since suicide 101 is a common knowledge, guess I just try to break down some tunes that most likely be my original soundtrack when / if I commits suicide, which are :

1. “No Surprises” by Radiohead

This is what came at my mind when I ask myself what song that represents me and how I fed up with everything. Just look at these lyric: “A heart that’s full up like a landfill/A job that slowly kills you/Bruises that won’t heal/
You look so tired and unhappy/Bring down the government/They don’t, they don’t speak for us/I’ll take a quiet life/A handshake of carbon monoxide/No alarms and no surprises/Silent, silent/This is my final fit, my final bellyache with/No alarms and no surprises please (let me out of here)

Yep, just pull the trigger, there’s nothing left here anyway.

 2. “Life Gets In The Way” by Budapest

Another song that hits me in the spot. Damn! Didn’t we have enough of life & how everything seems to get in our way? Just like Radiohead’s, the lyrics really hits the spot (U can try & Google it if U want to). I love the buildups of the song from the slow tempo into the climax when the lyric cry “I need to find a way to make me want to stay/Why should I stay/I’ve got so much more to say”.

FYI, the member of the band is commits suicide after they finished recording this album, To Blind To Hear, so I guess there should be a parental advisory “Don’t let emo or anyone with lame/whiny/weak mental from this. Explicit depressive lyrics included”.

 3. “American English” by Idlewild

When U first heard this song, most of U probably just thinking this is a song about someone that the vocalist really concerned…or probably hate. But if U read the lyrics, he sang “Sing a song about myself” thus the song is like when U look at the mirror and U just said how fed up U are, how pathetic U are, U are too weak to look up & other depressive thoughts.

Yes the build ups also awesome, “Songs when the truth are all dedicated to you/In this invisible world I choose to live in/And if you believe that now I understand Why words mean so much to you, they’ll never be about you” , “Maybe you’re young without youth/Or maybe you’re old without knowing anything true” or this one “Constantly searching to find something new/But what will you find when you think that nothing’s true?/Maybe it’s that nothing is new” The buildups is so awesome till the end of the song the grand finale “And you’ll find what you find when you find there’s nothing here

DAMN, maybe I should just kill myself but I’m too proud to beg & too dumb to do it, guess I just have to survive and bear the weight of this God-forsaken world in this fragile shoulder of mine (how’s that for an attempt to be emo ^_^).


2 thoughts on “Oh, The Drama…Melancholia

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