The Grieving Theory, Kick The Man When He Goes Down

Recently, I heard some talk-show on the radio that discussing bout the stage of grieving, bout how U cope with the pain of loosing something that matters in Ur life. Though the method is not new, I just found this thing is “cute” to be making fun of ha ha. I mean, to discuss it’s like the old saying goes, kick the man when he goes down, like drops some lemonade on new wound ha ha. Well, this is the list of stage of grieving (mostly for a sinking relationship just like the radio talk), manly macho man style (that failed so gracefully) ha ha :

1. Denial

We're still a couple!!! (sweet denial mode : on)

First step, where U still deny what happens to U (loosing friendship, house burned down & mostly, yes mostly, broke up with girls). U still can’t believe what the hell is happening to U, sometimes U bleeding Urself to know that U still alive (so the drama…LAME!!). It’s bound to happens but U didn’t see it coming (probably U just deny the facts or signs cuz U don’t wanna admit that the fairytale is not happily ever after). She’s a goddess & U R nothing but a vermin that means nothing in this whole galaxy ha ha.

OST for this special occasion is the most cheesy-whining heart break song by Bon Jovi (If U don’t Love Me Lie To Me) & Bryan Adams (Lie To Me). A perfect song for this fragile state of denial ha ha that Ur not only deny but beg him/her not to leave U, pathetic at its best ha ha.

2. Anger

This is the stage where U just snapped. Hell!!! She just insult me, she betrayed me, that sunofa*iatch!!! U become angry, no furious to be exact by what happens & probably in Indonesia it’s time for the old saying “cinta ditolak, dukun bertindak” or when love is repelled, it’s time for Shaman to act ha ha. Hell hath no fury against a scorned women (or man). But if U don’t have the guts to do Ur bidding to shaman, U can always try to break stuff (but do it with Ur own property, not others he he. I mean those fragile glasses R there to be smashed, it’s one of the uses of those stuff rather than just to be displayed to visitor ha ha).

He went to the dark side for broken heart ha ha

OST for this special occasion is Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” ha ha. One angry lady one angry song ha ha. Or for today’s kids “F*ck You” by Ceelo Green.

3. Bargaining

This is the point where U realizes that vengeance will do U no good nor accomplish anything but more pain & heart-ache, also no way to win her/him back anyway. Thus U change the strategy, U change Urself into a better person or at least the one he/she wants U to be in hope that some ray of light for U, maybe U can have him/her back or maybe there will be something better for U in the future. Like bargain sale, U trade Ur dignity for some sense of comfort ha ha.

OST for this special occasion is..OK, some up-lifting song by Simple Plan’s “I’d Do Anything” he he. Not tot sob, but not too excited either, somewhere in between ha ha. U’d do anything just to hold that person in Ur arms ha ha.

4. Depression.

U began to feel the sadness, the emptiness, the loneliness (emo to the max

Don't do it, not worth it

yeah!!!!). U can’t see what the point of continue the struggling, to continue the fight, to survive in this cruel world. U start crying & crying & crying till U know that U can’t cry hard enough for him/her to hear U now (ha ha ha. Sorry to be burst out of nowhere but the image of grown man cry is really tickle me ha ha ha). Just don’t give up & pull the trigger dude ha ha. It’s a white flag all over Ur deck. Some act of surrender or submission into the pitch black of the abyss ha ha…completely. Most of us stops the process here (probably commits suicide he he).

OST for this special occasion is…”Can’t Cry Hard Enough” by The Williams Brother ha ha. Enjoy the suitable situation, suitable title, suitable song ha ha. There’s nothing U can do about it, U can’t cry hard enough, might as well be dead ha ha

5. Acceptance.

The final stage, where U just don’t know what to do to make U feel better. U can’t cry, U can’t be angry. Hell U don’t even know to whom U feel this entire negative aura to. No bargain can make the situation better (try to do bargain with the kiosk seller in some china town to know how hard to bargain, but this time multiply it into the chances are none ha ha). Thus U surrender but not completely, cuz U know the life goes on, even if U dead the world will keeps spinning, the sun will keeps shine, & U know that U R nothing in this vast universe, only some tool or even only some accessories that’s not significant whatsoever. Suddenly U knows that all U have to do is just moving on.

OST for this special occasion is George Michael’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” this told the first to the last step of cope with Grievance, the last lyric “Someone gonna loves me..” really shows that U accept the fact that U can’t have her/him & move on to the next level, finding someone else, if U can’t be with the one U love, love the one U with ha ha. Or Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” or what I prefer, Cake version ha ha.

So, there’s what I can wrap from the cliché radio-talk but I hope some will find it useful. I know I can use it somehow ha ha. But if U still can’t accept the fact, try to do phase 1 to 5 & if U still can’t do remember that there are many things more important than those stupid feeling, like bills to pay, mouth to feed, boots to walk on, etc.

Try “99 Problems” by Jay-Z. U know that Ur problem most likely petty stuff compares to the universe, there’s global warming, judgment day, apocalypse, Cops, the in-law (how does the latter included in this ^_^). Just like Jay-Z said “I got 99 problems & the *itch ain’t one, if U having girl problem I’d be back for U son. I got 99 problems & the *itch ain’t one”  & honestly, this could be categorized as denial, which somehow brings us back to stage 1. Do it again & again from stage 1 till 5 until U had enough of this demonic cycle he he.


31 thoughts on “The Grieving Theory, Kick The Man When He Goes Down

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