So, recently I encountered some story, a twisted love story that made me wondering what went wrong, the story have some thin red line, a love story that have some obstacle to begin with or to make it more “tragic” a love story that end where it began, a crash boom bang love story. That’s the sum of it. I don’t know why I wrote this, probably cuz this story came at the same time all of sudden (except one), this is based on true story & I hope that this won’t offended anyone, I just wanna share that sometimes we all must learned the hard way, that sometimes things won’t go the way we wanted to.
When she was proposed by her husband, she was older than him like 5 years if I’m not mistaken. No wonder at first his parent kinda reluctant to give their blessing. But they prevail & married have 2 kids, he is a Director of some government institute, live in South Jakarta (elite place for living) a good career, to sum it, quite perfect picture of family. He is well known for his leadership (of course, leader of some government institute) or probably he is wise beyond his year.
These families never have some bad rumor or something, even some gossip or affair, nothing! Then suddenly out of nowhere (well we never heard from them since September last year) my mom told me she was informed they had divorced. This is really shocking cuz a month before that family still doing family tour to USA. It’s just wow to know it ended so fast (without any attempt to reconcile). My mom said that before he left his wife (&kids) he only said “I want to divorce, I already found someone else” just like that then he walks out the door & never look back.
Out of character of him, I always heard people said how mature he is, how responsible he is, but this? It’s just like some pre-teen who runaway from some problem (rather than face it & finish it). To make it worse, rumor has it, that the “other girl” is his business friend, a widow (older than him) with 2 child (not a fair trade if U ask me, but love is such an absurd or relative concept that can’t be generalized or standardized for every individual, but still…kinda weird if U ask me). To throw it all away all those year & fight for love? It shouldn’t even start if this is how it ends!
A couple been married for 7 years, blessed with 2 lovable children, a girl and a boy. Though the married are arranged (they’ve been matched since they are babies), the marriage is never have turmoil, a marriage based on mutual respect & according to her, it is love that grows due to the condition & share the same common goal. Then suddenly, he tell her that he wants a divorce, she shocked & ask him what went wrong, is she not good enough for her? Is she a bad mother? Is she done something wrong?
Like lightning strike, he just told her that they had this coming along time ago since they are never in love from the beginning. Bottom-line, he never loves her, though she is like mentioned before, love him for what its worth (through the time they spent, through the process of their “marriage”).
No 3rd party involved here. Only he suddenly realize that he don’t love her. I mean why they even start & waiting a long time for that to come. Unfair for her if U asks me.
Two middle high students met, one is male mix of Javanese & Sundanese, a Moslem from so-so family. The girl, a cute kinda chubby Chinese, a devoted Catholic from rich family. Not a match-made in heaven that for sure, but circumstances made them an odd pair that last for 7 years. 7 years of turmoil, ups & downs, break up – make up though they never officially are “couple” (due to the difference between them & the rejection from parents, the term “backstreet” is more proper for them). Either U believe it or not, for him, this is considered to be his first love (not some crush like to a celebrity when he was a boy), a real genuine one.
They tried so hard to make it works but in the end, circumstances also what separates them, the girl left the boy with a bang. She married the guy her parent chose & the boy left out in the dark without knowing what went wrong (though honestly he knew that it will end with tears cuz somehow they never really moves to next stage after “the fall in love then be a couple” phase). The reason? Well to begin with, it’s a mess or accident waiting to happened, a time bomb, a nuclear time bomb. She left him with the words that he always remembers, “I’m tired of this, I’m tired of us. I love U forever but I guess forever it’s over. It’s time to grown up & get over this puppy love. Thanks for all those years. I love U always…I guess”. Really makes me thinks, if she loves him, why she left him? Puppy love, or to be more blunt, first love never meant to last?
What is the thin red line between those random stories? What are the common things that connected the dots? Well, U can learn something from it, such as :
- From 1st story, if U wants to be realistic, let’s just say this is the case like Prince Charles that has an affair with Camilla though he already married with Princess Diana. Everyone knew that Lady Diana is, physically or if we just meet the eye or skin deep, is way better than Camilla (younger, slimmer, prettier, etc). But I guess what Diana & Charles lack is emotional attachment. Believe it or not, emotional attachment is also important for guys. Yes sex is important, skin deep beauty is important, but as years goes by, what made us stick (or stuck) with that person is emotional attachment that made us comfortable, feel confident, feel needed, feels like home, the things that make guys always come back to that special girl…though I don’t know but I guess this is what happened since he have something in common with the 3rd party, business.
- From 2nd story, it takes two to tango but it only takes one to stop the dance. Marriage, we can analogized as a ship (relationship that is ^_^), to prevent that ship from sinking, it needs the effort of all the “guilty parties”. Maybe we know the term unrequited love, but that is love, not marriage, in marriage, reciprocity is a necessity (of trust, respect, love, trust, etc).
- From 3rd story, sometimes love just ain’t enough. To make it works, there are many variable, blessing from parents, financial, law, religion, etc. To be in a relationship it’s easy (somehow) but to the next level, like get married, it’s not only a union of two person, but two family, like some sort of baggage or package deal (we have to buy the whole things even knowing that we want is only certain item from the whole package).
- Believe it or not, first love (like first cut) ain’t always the deepest. Mostly first love didn’t last cuz few reasons, such as we were young-reckless-stupid-didn’t know the stake-etc thus either we don’t appreciate it or just make unreasonable decision.
- Love is only a feeling (either U believe it or not), to make it last required a commitment from all parties to make it last. Required some Herculean effort to make it last. Cuz sometimes there’s only a thin line between love & lust (just like love & hate).
- If U ready to fall in love, be sure that U also ready to be broken heart cuz like I mentioned, though love is only a feeling, it’s a damn hard to be understood, like the mystery of the universe he he.
Well, guess I just wanna share some thought of this topic & in case U wondering if this is a true story…well I’m the guy on the 3rd story he he (my mom’s friend the 1st & my distant colleague is the 2nd). Well, guess in some way (or the other) I have to move forward, move along cuz time don’t stand still, it keeps ticking equally for each of us. Either U live in the past regretting what happens & be left out or make those moments as some lesson for what will happens in the future.
When I spent (not wasted) those 7 years, I dare to say that I’m happy (for what it’s worth) & those are 7 years of the best life in my pathetic so-called life that I wouldn’t trade for anything (maybe a different ending but since that out of the equation just let it be ^_^). Thnx for caring enough to read this stupid crash boom bang love story ha ha.