“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln
Last week, my girl & I having “the conversation” though not really talking, we are tex-ting each other via net, then she said that her mom talked to her regarding our relationship. Long story short, the outcome that from her side of family is thinking that knowing my girl not that “young” anymore, she’ll be 26 next year, I have a deadline to married her next year before her birthday, before she turns 26.
In that very moment, I just like…DAMN!!!! It’s not like I’m not prepared for it (OK, I admit I’m not prepared to married that fast though), I always said the rules of engagement is when my salary hits 4 mil (Rupiah that is), I’m prepared to get married, now my salary is only 3 mil (quite a step I must reach, within one year period). So, I guess I have to prepare myself for any kind of outcome from this turmoil that I have ha ha.
At first, I just thought, damn! I am old! What have I done with my life? Am I wasted all those years knowing that most of my friend already in managerial level while I’m still some stupid clerk? What went wrong?
Then it came to mind all the time that I probably wasted, but then again, I don’t think I wasted my life! Sure I finished college almost 5 years, genius can finished it 3.5 years or faster, but I guess that is normal. Probably cuz I’m the kinda guy who always thinks that everything that I did is never wasted. Always something learned, something gain, everything is rites of passage. But why I felt something was lost that I can’t accept?
Then I remember that I have one year of my life that was “stole” from me. I was born at the late semester, I was born on 12th of November 1983, & since my parents wants me to enter private school (which at that moment is waaaay better than state / public school), I have to be 6 years old. Thus, I spent extra year at kindergarten while my peers entering elementary school. My parents wasted one whole f*#ing year of my life that I can’t never get back (sooo the drama ha ha ha).
Bottom-line, I was left one year while my peers have one year ahead of me. Honestly, I never give much thought about it till last week. If only I was younger, if only I have the same start as my peers & another what if / if only. But I know that reminiscing the past is wasted if U didn’t learn a damn thing about it. So, what do I learn? Probably that if U was left one year behind, all U can do is give Ur best to close the gap, even if U can’t close the gap, just give Ur best cuz there’s nothing left wasted in this sick & filthy world like I said before. It’s all some learning curves, some rites of passage.
Maybe just to make myself feels better, I believe that for every man, there is a path that somehow preordained exclusively for that specific individual. Maybe my path is to start one year after my peers, at least my path is not to be a bad example to others he he (such as be a criminal who shot to dead or some psychopath on a killing spree ^_^). Bottom-line is everyman for himself, we have our own role in this God forsaken world.
Ha ha ha, I guess as late semester kid, all I can say to parents or soon to be parents, please do prepared Ur kids cuz they facing an uphill battle & probably some bullying from their peers cuz they are late in the start (it happens for me ^_^). If Ur kids smart enough, do try acceleration class or if they just average Joe, taught them that everyone has their own path so at the very least they wont envy their friend that already works or in college. And please do teach them, it’s not how U start that matters, it’s how U live & end it that matters ha ha ha. Just like that quote, I dare to say I have an awesome life.
About my deadline? Well…I just hope that something happened that my salary is enough or probably I just go with it & the hell with everything. Blurry at its best but it’s for me to know & find out either I have the guts to get married ha ha. Believe it or not, I put all my cards & gambling it on this relationship he he.