Borrowed

So, this week I having quite an accident, I sprained my ankle thus I have to get home early due to the fact that I have a difficult

Small fracture that KO’ed me

time to walk, even barely stand, then when I do some x-ray turned out that my bone is fractured (no wonder my feet is abscessed & look like elephant feet). Then I have to be operated cuz there’s a fractured on my feet that creates an abscess that making my feet like elephant feet. But that is not the thing that bugged me, it’s what the security guy who giving me the first aid (feet & bone massage) told to me about what happened to me.

Mr. Eman said that this is a warning from God, some sort of test, which I quickly replied “what the hell he wants from me now, after I lost my iPhone, my wallet, now this!!! What do U want, just take my life away if it’s makes U happy U #$%^@^@&@%#*&@(*@(@&” but then Mr. Eman said that God works in mysterious way, sometimes he gave us hints that we don’t see (or ignored to see). God won’t test his people beyond their ability. There’s gotta be something more than meets the eye.

Come to think bout it, every bad luck that happens recently (lost iPhone, wallet & cracked my feet) happens on Semanggi (some area near my office), Mr. Eman said God try to warn me bout something but I just turned my back on him (probably giving him salute with my middle finger he he). First through material things that I just don’t give a f#%ed, so he warns me through physical approach, cracked my feet (he is one guy that refused to be ignored eh? Some crazy-psycho-attention whore sunofab#%*h ha ha ha). Mr. Eman is a smooth talker that he managed to make me come to my senses that is not like God is like I said before, but he tried to warns me, maybe I lacked in faith, lacked some good deed, etc (which I admit yes I lacked in those department due to financial issue ^_^).

He reminds me that our life is a borrowed life that we have to take responsibility when our time is over. I always said that U (God, government, authority, etc) can take everything from me but not my mind, my spirit, it’s mine & only me can abuse it. Then Mr Eman said that it’s a sign of arrogant, some snobbishness that defy God, authority, etc & it’s not good for the soul. Mr. Eman said that in order to make peace to myself, I have to accept that something is bigger than myself, that everything happens for a reason, even there is a God & he is watching us (I used to believe that the concept of God is created in order to those who can’t bear the weight of the world to have some place they can lean to, to make something less difficult, to have some place to share with, an illusion of grandeur, an addictive illusion).

Well honestly I don’t know what happens but I guess there will be a time that sometimes U just accept things just like what they are, even if it meant that U don’t ask why, U just accept things like its an act of submission to….whatever U believe he he. So I guess that it meant that I have to believe that this life of mine, this body of mine, even this world is “borrowed” y something anything bigger than us. As a part of something bigger, we have to give back to the environment, to the world. To not being an ignorant fool or selfish bastard that I was he he. So…maybe its time for me to make this borrowed life useful to the environment, to God, etc once in a while.

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