Things I Learn From Watching Too Much Scary Movie

Well, I love scary movie, though it’s not my favorite genre but I have a fair moment with it. Fair enough that it inspired me to write this stupid post he he. Well, there are certain rules in scary movie (includes in this category beside ghost movie is slasher, gory, thriller, etc bottom idea, if it gives U Goosebumps, it is in this category) that always applied in this peculiar type of movie, or to be exact, this is the list of something that I learn from watching too much of scary movie, such as :

1.      We can tell the state of prosperity of one country, also it’s culture

What does it mean by that? Well, if one country is prosperous, U can see from

Dead but still rich & pimpin’

how the ghost or monster looks like. In western country where the economic usually prosperous (lets forget that nowadays they, such as Greece, Spain even USA are hit by economic crisis) the monster usually looks slick, tidy, majestic or even God-like. Like vampire who lives in castle & charms girls or celestial beast like Unicorn. But in most country with low level of prosperity, or even in remote part of civilization, the monster usually…monster-like (weird sentence I know). Such as Sasquatch/Bigfoot, Aswang (Philippine’s vampire) or in Indonesia (we still a poor country I admit) where the ghost or monster is ugly such as Pocong, Kuntil Anak, etc.

We also could see the culture of one country from the monster, why? Cuz monster usually is a deceased person or creature that taking form of a deceased person. In western where the person buried in tidy suit (tuxedo, gown, etc) so when they “back to life” they still look good (e.g. Vampire) but in Indonesia where the majority of religion is Moslem, the deceased is wrapped/shrouded in kapan/kaffan so there are ghost such as pocong (it still roams in jumping way since they were wrapped/shrouded) or Kyon shi in china (Chinese vampire) where they wear traditional cloth. The more gruesome the culture treats the deceased, the uglier the monster will be, like zombie in Africa that came back to life with what’s left of the deceased (usually the corps are bitten by animal, or any gruesome death).

2.      Theory that we all descendant from Adam & Eve might be true

If U are atheist or scientology worshiper, the idea that we came from one source, Adam & Eve is kinda absurd (our African brother with black skin is having weird mutation while the western mutate with white skin while Asian mutated with little figure & slanting eyes) or how come we have different language or maybe how come we have different God/faith. But if U think about it, there’s a possibility that it might be true. From linguistic point of view, what makes we talk different probably is the accent that somehow effect almost every part of language (pronounce, etc) but there are still some resemblance like Azuri (Italy) & Ozora (Japan) which means blue sky. Or Check mate that came from Arabic word Shah Mat which means the king is dead. There’s a possibility that we came from one descendant.

From scary movie point of view, we all have same monster/ghost, it’s the culture that set the difference. Like vampire that have uncanny resemblance with Aswang. Both are blood sucker, can’t enter without being invited. Or Genderuwo in Indonesia who bears uncanny resemblance with Rhaksasa in India with typical appearance gigantic, shape-shifter & loves to make love with women under the disguise of their love one. Or Pocong in Indonesia & Kyon shi (jumping around like pocong but categorize as vampire). So, there’s a possibility that we came from one descendant.

3.      Be a chicken it’s OK, sometimes (in order to survive)

In life, we always booing, mocking the guy who runaway but seriously, put our shoe on their role in scary movie & we somehow understand why people run (when they do the opposite people said “Don’t go there bitch, run”). Application in real life, just like my blog bout zombie where in order to survive, sometimes it’s OK to run from problems, especially if U R not the lead character, just leave it to the lead role he he.

4.      Sometimes U just have to accept fate & take it like a man

Sometimes in life shit happens & nothing we can do bout it, just like in scary movie. U could shot the bad guy, impaled him/her, crash him/her to a car then run over him/her. But that wouldn’t change a damn thing. The bad guy will kill U period. So what should we do? Submit to God & hope that the pain won’t last long or the kill will be painless he he. Just like Final Destination, it proves death or God is pain in the @$$% that will not tolerate failure (if U supposed to be dead, U R dead. Period). Resistance is futile.

5.      Be stand-out among the crowd is dangerous (sometimes)

So geek they don’t even bother U

In scary movie, who died first? The outstanding, the stand out character, the hottie, the black guy (without trying to be racist, but it’s the fact nonetheless). What we could learn from this? Sometimes it’s OK to be mediocre, to be normal just like everybody else. Hell!!! Even the survivor usually the misfit or the geek (bet rubble to a dollar that it’s the geek or ugly people that write the script for this type of movie he he). Or maybe normal people / nerdy guy is so common or plain that the killer won’t even bother or out of their killing range ha ha.

6.      The bad guy has all the cool gadget

Ever wonder why the bad guy always has the entire cool gadget to slaughter the

I got chainsaw!! U?

victim? I mean, look at what they got, chainsaw, flame thrower, machete, death-scythe. Or look at Transformer, Decepticon has all the fire-power, even got that giant worm creature. It seems like God favors them more than the good guy & gave them access to all the awesome killing gadget (unless U R Batman or Iron Man he he). Or in life usually the jerks have impressive car while the good guy either using public transport or have shitty car he he. Lesson learned : be bad guy, life will go easy on U & I the brink of your demise, repent, redeem yourself so U go to heaven he he.

7.      Being bad guy makes U near invincible

Die Hard or even Immortal?

U saw it in every movie, U can stab, shot, run over, detonate, etc the bad guy but nothing happens or have any impact, they still come back to life & makes U scream “Why won’t U die mothafucka!!!!” then it will hits U, almost every bad guy is invincible & U don’t have to be The Invincible Iron Man (though jerk attitude like Tony usually a symptom for the bad guy). So, be the bad guy for they are granted & blessed by the kingdom of heaven with their toughness & formidable attitude. Bad guy rules!!! Think about it, besides the survivor role, usually the bad guy shares the same spot as the leading role he he.

8.      Cop is useless

Almost in every movie, calling cop or even any kinds of authority ended in the unhappy result. From the long waiting call machine, annoying stupid/not believe attitude call center, or how come the cop always come to the crime scene after the event over (no wonder why Crime Scene Investigation A.K.A. CSI is such a big hit since the cop is useless & to analyze crime from the scene is more effective & productive than busted the crime scene) no wonder that in our subliminal brain we don’t trust cop, cop is useless. Cop = pigs he he.

9.      Everyman for himself

This is something that U never taught in school or religion that in the end, everyman for himself. When all the chips are down, when all hell break loose, everyman for himself & survival is the primary objective in the kill or be killed situation. Think about it, we born alone (unless U are twin), live alone & die alone, everything else is an illusion. Sure U can sacrifice yourself for other but did U know that they will drink, eat, & dance while all U can do is spinning in your grave?

So, what is the lesson of this useless post? Well, I don’t know, err life is not fair?

Dead but still famous

Yeah, that could be it. I mean, just like scary movie, not every one of us be the lead role that survive the horror (if U lucky, U prevail & kick the bad guy in the groin), most of us probably just some cameo or worse, the victim that paved the bad guy in order to achieve the title legendary (like Texas Chainsaw or something). If U whine 2 God “Why me? It’s not fair!” God would probably reply “Why not”. Life is not fair, deal with it. The least U can do is to enjoy the role, if U just a supporting role, be the best supporting role (there’s an Oscar for that U know) & if U go “out” go with a bang, like Paris Hilton he he.


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