I never meant to start a war/You know I never wanna hurt you/Don’t even know what we’re fighting for/Why does love always feel like a battlefield
Jordin Spark – Battlefield
I conduct a small survey out of curiosity about domination in relationship. I know the survey is invalid & hold no sense of authenticity (I asked only 6 friends of mine), but through some of those surveys, I came to some interesting fact about domination, or in more subtle or poignant or whatever you may call it, about leadership in relationship.
You might heard that men usually become a leader (hence the term, man of the house or alpha male), but as modern society grows, emancipation, etc. We become aware that sometimes a woman can also be a leader. I conduct the survey I mentioned before cause there’s a case in my country where the wife (a celebrity) asks to be divorced since her husband “lack of initiative”. Her husband didn’t become leader of the house. She tired to be the one who lead everything.
Now this is funny since in these modern days, usually women loves some equality of right, emancipation but this case showed us that sometimes women loves to ruled, or in extreme way, to be dominated (but not the kinky way ^_^). Maybe it’s a woman thing to have the tendency to be attracted to the dominant opposite sex (like alpha-male stuff). I mean, why does “mean people” seems so attractive? Because they are dominant, or stands out from the crowd, that makes them very intriguing (even if it’s notorious or mischievous). I know this is out of topic, but domination came in every aspect, even if it’s mean that the male dominating the conversation, or relationship.
Back to topic, ever heard the term “all is fair in love & war”? Either U believe it or not, love (for couple in opposite sex or heterosexual relationship) is a battlefield, it’s a war between sex, between male & female, for domination. Let’s pretend relationship as a ship, it has to have a commander or captain but there can be only one leader. The ship direction will be in jeopardy if there are two leaders. So in order that natural order operating in harmony, there can be only one leader.
But unfortunately men & women operate in different OS (like men with Windows & women in Snow Leopard Macintosh). Don’t believe it? Let me put it this way, from the day we decided to “hunt” the future special one, we already play a game or a card to play in order to achieve our goal (to get the girl or guy). Of course after all the war is done, we want to earn something, some pleasure from our glorious victory, which somehow very different for men & women. Suffice to say, it’s all downhill from here he he.
So, after become a couple, guy usually wants to chill, cooling down the tension. Men usually just want to take things slow, but this somehow viewed differently for women who deduced that men only enjoy the hunt, after they get the price they just didn’t gave the same effort to maintain the girl. Women in other hand, after become couple, women usually more emotionally attached, they always want to be with their man 24/7. The need to call, text, talk, meet, etc. This different method in relationship surely caused some rift in the ship of relationship.
Now this is where the battle begin, men are stupid with code & secret while women just never tell things straight. Women do things that they think would make men understand what they want (like taking long time to do something while hoping that their man will help them). Let me get things straight, men are stupid or just don’t care or give damn to detail. It’s the cold hard truth, men will love women unconditionally (at first) regardless the women past while women takes a long time to think & consideration to take the offer (next time we see beautiful girl with regular guy, don’t get negative, the women think ahead guys. They now the regular guy is a provider). Men don’t grow up, we just grow old, only some small fracture of revelation can turn men into adult, like married, kids or something, but it is rare he he.
Culture, religion & commonsense somehow taught us that women shouldn’t be the one that dominated the relationship, though
there is a term “behind every great man, there always a great woman (wonder if it’s applied to gay). Thus somehow women are pulling the string that makes or support the choice of action of their man. But that is a history nowadays. With equality, emancipation, women stand as an equal. Again, this causing another rift in the ship of relationship. Not that that I say equality is a bad thing, it’s just that some men (most anyway) are not ready to be lead or to be dominated by women (sorry if gay are not included in this stupid theory of mine), like I said men are stupid or just immature).
So, is it better for men to lead, or for women? Old tradition prefer man though, but I digress this because in nature, men usually easy to be satisfied or happy with the way it is. Men love comfort zone. Like the term “behind every great man…” women is the driving force to make men progressed with their life. We probably still live in primitive state if it’s not for women he he (though some still blame women for this, like why official do corruption, or even why we were cast out from garden of Eden by God, etc misogyny still an issue here, then again, there always two sides for every story). So, what is the best answer for this? For me, the win-win solution is always the best way. Too much of everything is never good (like too much love will kill U).
It takes two to tango, so does relationship. It takes both parties to try hard to maintain it. Whoever take the lead or dominated the relationship (since now there are also men who taking care of kids while the wife do the job in the office), it is better that every course of action takes is a consent of both parties. Sometimes men better in certain field, so does women vice versa in other things. Sometimes we have to realize that we don’t have to always take the spotlight, sometime just to step aside or give support is as important as to lead the relationship. We have to remember that it takes some sort of adulthood to maintain a relationship (like losing for winning or something like that), but we don’t have to be adult to commit act of adultery ha ha. Love doesn’t have to a battlefield or command & conquer situation. Love can or should be a teamwork that support the ship to sail safely to reach the end of rainbow.