Worthy?

Charlie : Why do good people end up with bad people?
Teacher : Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve
Perks of Being Wallflower

After watching Perks of Being Wallflower, I realize there are certain degrees of truth from that quote. Usually I thought that whenever I see an unequal couple (one of the parties is drop dead gorgeous while the other is downright f*#kin ugly), I always assume that one of them is a “gold digger” that taking any kind of advantage given by the ugly one. Yes people can argue that physical appearance not important (especially for ugly people, sorry if this offending anyone) & that personality is more important (like having personal company, or personal car of their own ^_^). But I guess that quote from Perks of being wallflower is kinda explaining something different. Sometimes good people end up with bad people because of they think that this bad person is what they deserve.

I know sometimes that bad people is more interesting (even have good looking or stands out due to the fact that they are more dominant), but sometimes I understands that we somehow “underestimate” ourselves. Sometimes we settling for 2nd best knowing that “maybe” we didn’t deserve or worthy of 1st position. We always look down to our own potential, but this is a good thing, I mean, if U bragging about your achievement, it’s like hearing babbling from horse mouth. Achievement or greatness is meant to be heard or told from others, not from ourselves, that is why the term “is not who you know, but who knows you” came.

Back to the “worthy” idea, this is weird since I read story of porn star (her name is censored, but from internet community it was believed that this is story of Candace Cage, go ahead, Google it. It’s an apple to the eye..of male  ^_^) bout how she become porn star. So, once she had boyfriend that asking her to have sex with him but she refuse. Then she was dumped by him & she become depressed & down). Then, her ex boyfriend (that asked her to have sex) married other girl that willing to have sex. Since that “accident”, she somehow turned into sex maniac. Well, before she turned into sex she came to conclusion that what it needs to lasting relationship is sex. Sure this was wrong but since she realized that it was too late & she already tainted, also she assume that no good man would want her (WRONG! If she is a nice person, I don’t care what past she had, I want her. Period!). Thus, she embraced the life of porn star. Maybe if she just has a little more self esteem she wouldn’t be (but then again, if she had any, we, male, normal guy, wouldn’t be entertain by Candice. What a paradox he he).

If U asks me, virginity is a disposable one time use only. Yes it is important, but the reason why women lose virginity is as important as virginity itself. What if some women raped? I believe she still “virgin” (at least in her heart). Don’t be naïve in this sick, filth modern world. It’s hard to find “innocence” in this age. This is sensitive but what I can say is, every saint had a past (probably as dark as others) & every sinner has a future (that probably bright), please don’t look down on yourself, if U can’t love yourself, how U supposed to expect others to love U. This also can apply to other situation like when U wondering “am I good enough for that job?” or “Am I a worthy to get that job?”, etc.

Yes we sometimes didn’t acknowledge our self the way we deserves. Sometimes we questioned ourselves whether we are worthy of something or not. But remember we all are human, we all the same. What differentiate us from others is not what we are deep down inside, it’s what we do that define us (learn this from Batman Begin ^_^). So, in order to become a worthy person for something, first we have to accept we are as we are & from that point we develop or expand ourselves to the point that we are worthy of that thing that we want (girls, job, position, etc). Hey, me myself still trying hard to improve myself so that I am worthy of the life that I wanted (life with money, toys, video game, career, good family & list goes on he he). So I guess we have to start with accepting & love ourselves.

We are as worthy as what we wanted to be as long as we strive hard for it. We may never be as worthy as we wanted to be (sometimes we put the bar too damn high), but sometimes what matter most is the journey not the destination. We may fail along the way (and we will. I guarantee that), but measure of a man is not by his achievement, but by how many time he/she could stand & continue to fight after they fall. I guess, what I wanted to say is, we are as worthy as what we wanted to be, so strive hard to become as worthy as we want to. It’s all just a state of mind anyway.

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