Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it’s a real good bet, the best is yet to come
The best is yet to come, and wont that be fine
You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine
“The Best Is Yet To Come” by Frank Sinatra
Valentine day had passed but something still bothering me. In accordance of valentine, most radio gave a love story, a radio play based on listener experiences (which at this year valentine tell a different side of love story, the sad one. As if all radio is against the idea of valentine & try to hushed the excitement of valentine). One story catch my attention, a story bout a girl name Diana who torn to choose between her boyfriend for 5 years Andy or “her soul-mate” Donny, a guy she just met couple of day before her wedding with Andy. Long story short, she choose the 2nd best (yes, it is her own term 2nd best) Andy while knowing that out there, there is her “soul-mate” called Donny who probably already got a girl by now.
Okay, I know it’s not fair to judge people without knowing how, where, when, why, who or what they were brought up & I’m not here to judge her. I’m here interested with her idea of 2nd best. I mean, if she were secular, I would understand since objectively speaking, we all want the best, so why settle for 2nd best? But if she is religious, she should understand that god give what she need not what she want (which what she need probably her “2nd best”). So, it is intriguing knowing that this girl is settling for 2nd best while knowing that she have a chance to get her best price, her “soul-mate”. I actually salute this girl. It’s unethical to ditch her man who she soon married for new guy. She also supports my theory that what is needed for lasting relationship is commitment. Love is only a feeling that can go away (while her interest to the new guy is debatable to be put in category as love, maybe just amazement or admiration).
So, somehow I remember the story when I was little about what is the definition of love, told by my mid high teacher, a story about student and his sifu (teacher in ancient Chinese story). One day, a student asks his sifu what is “love”? Then the sifu said in order to understand the true meaning of love, he told the student to cross the field of flower without retreat or going back & forth. Just cross the field from beginning to end in a single trip, in single line. The sifu said “Pick the most beautiful flower. Just choose one, the most beautiful one. I will wait across the field my student”. Then the student crossing the field. He saw a beautiful flower, he picked it then he think to himself, “What if there is a flower more beautiful than the one I pick?” So he drops the flower & keep walking while try to choose the best flower. I his way he saw many beautiful flower but his mind keep saying, “There is a flower more beautiful than that” while keep walking. Then finally he reach the end of the field & the sifu ask him, “So, where is the flower? Why didn’t you bring it?” then the student answer it with deep confusion “I thought there will be a flower more beautiful than the one I have. So I just kept looking & to my surprise, I reach the end.”
The sifu said, “Life is like crossing the field. Once you take a step or action, there is no undoing. You have to bear the consequence of it. And love is pretty much like it. Once you choose someone. You stick with the choice you made. If you keep looking for the best, there always is a better one. Younger, taller, more beautiful, even sexier. The fact that you ended up with none shows that you doing a futile effort in search of the best”.
The student then asks, “So is it means that some people don’t deserve the best? It doesn’t seem fair sifu…” then the sifu said, “Do you know what you deserve? Do you think that you deserve the best? Do you think you are worthy? We will never know my student. We don’t even know who we really are underneath. We have this perception about our self, but it is shaped by our environment, by our education, they all shaped our “identity” but not who we really are. We never know & sometimes we don’t have to know. Something is better left unsaid, unanswered. As human we are part of a bigger scheme, a grand plan. Sometimes all that we can do is just played our role, whatever our role maybe. Remember, we know what we want but we don’t know what we need, sometimes what we called 2nd best can be what we really need young one.”
Guess what? That story explains a lot (thank you Mr. Bowo, my teacher, for that truly inspiring story). What I can tell from my experience is that happiness is a state of mind. Like a child that can be amazed & happy with only playing with a balloon, so does adult can be happy by simple things in life or actually it’s the simple things that made us happy. I mean, I may not be a great photographer but this hobby gave a satisfaction of knowing how simple things like sunset, smile or even random object like lamp.
So, the best it yet to come they say, but somehow in order to determine whether the best is yet to come or not, it would be wise to see what we already have. Sometimes we never know what we got till its gone & sometimes what we lost it’s the best that we ever had. I guess we have to be thankful for what we’ve got so far, then after that (after second thought or deep thought) we can decide which of what we have can be improved (yes, it can be our special one or something like that ^_^).