What Now?

Lost the battle, win the war
I’m bringing my sinking ship back to the shore
We’re starting over or head back in
There’s a time and a place to die but this ain’t it

“Now” by Paramore

So, I failed the test for promotion in my company recently. I will be lying if I said I don’t feel disappointed by it, since I sacrifice my trip to Bali to met my uncle & aunty from Holland also waste Kampoeng Jazz ticket that I bought for me & my girl, suffice to say that I’m kinda angry (or furious to be exact). But somehow I just managed to kinda passed the angry phase (I still angry a little) & what made me worried is not why I didn’t passed the test but what to do NOW.

What to do now? That is the million dollar question. Should I wait 2 more years to try again or it’s time to abandon ship & have a new adventure? Obviously I’m not getting any younger, most of my colleague already married, having home installment or something, have bigger salary, etc. This is serious Aditya, “Olympus Has Fallen” type (watch American movie especially secret services movie for this reference), Titanic has sunk serious, or to be more exaggerated, Judgment day has come.

Well, learn from what has happened, it is obvious that I’m not the leader or manager type my company is expecting, therefore the most possible option is rather to change my attitude (which is hard since my stubbornness & this is who I really am…so far ^_^) or try other company that have different criteria of what is the ideal manager. I think that I will choose the latter, I gotta find another door to open.

Yeah, I guess I had enough since I wait for 5 years for a promotion while almost everyone is promoted to managerial level. Probably I late in this race but at the very least I’m gonna start & taking a chance not just thinking, wishing or hoping that things will changed. I may not be given the chances I needed, I have to make my own chances.

Maybe all of my plans will be pending or even worse, cancelled, but that’s the price I have to pay. Looking at all my options, it’s fly or die situation, sink or swim, get rich or die tryin’ that I had to take. Well, either way, it feels like no matter what I do, it’s a no win – no win situation.

Well, what would you do Aditya? Time is running out & the cards we hold ain’t promising. But as an avid gambler, we do know that it’s depends on us whether to game on or forfeit. Choose widely Aditya, we’re not that young anymore. We don’t have the luxury of making any mistakes like we used to…back to the million dollar question, what now? We may lose the battle but it still possible to win the war, maybe it’s time to jump ship & have a new adventure in a brave new world.

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