So this is where we are
& this is all life has got to give
Maybe all that’s left is just to live
Duncan Sheik – “Now or Never”
I met an old friend recently then the most cliché question was asked by him “Have you married yet?” & I said “No I haven’t. Hopefully next year” etc, etc, long story short he told me that he almost married but his girlfriend decided to withdraw right after he informally proposed her (he already said it but he said it again, he still in shock I guess or he just need someone to hear or share the story, you know misery loves company). Apparently her girl doubted that he is the right one for her, guess she suddenly has a doubt after 4 years in a relationship. So the ball dropped & the party’s over.
Sadly I hear this story quite often somehow. At the last moment suddenly we doubt something, anything, even ourselves. Like when people chicken out the last second before ride a roller coaster, before say wedding vow or something like that. In military or combat, when we hesitate, people die, gladly we are not in war situation though there are casualties when we hesitate (like my friend that got dumped). Guess the intelligence that we, human so proud of sometimes become our disadvantage, like both side of the coin.
We always bugged by many questions in life such as “Is she the one?”, “What if this is the last time I have a chance like this?” “Is it the right time?”. We even annoyed by our own curiosity sometimes, remember when we were little we ask everything like why the sky is blue or did zebra a white striped or black striped or other things like that. It’s good to be curious but if it makes you hesitate or doubt, well that’s a different case.
I know benefit of doubt is good so we don’t regret the (sometimes stupid) things we do, but it’s also make us hesitate to do the things that we often regret we didn’t do. As an adult (I’m gonna be 30 this year), I can say that of all the stupid things I did, mostly I don’t regret it. I mean, it’s the experience that money can’t buy. Just like the old adage, that state that no awesome story start with “I was at the coffee shop…” it’s always ‘I was at the bar…” guess what? Stupid decision made an interesting story (as long as we don’t get dead or hurt, you know what they said, it’s only fun till someone got hurt ^_^).
OK, it’s a wrong way to encourage anyone to do stupid thing (I still wait someone that wants to commit suicide by jump off the bridge or something like that, & I want to say to them “Do a flip while you fall” ^_^) but I’d be honest to say this, of all the stupid things I did, what I regret the most is the things that I didn’t do. The burden of “what if” question outweighs the outcome of the fact that I didn’t try. The relieve-ness or gladness that I know the answer is so good & the clarity of it makes me know that I just can move on with my life (like when someone rejects you so despicably that you know she’s not the one or you might not be good enough for her so we can just move on with our life) ^_^. I know it’s cliché but YOLO is true, you only live once, that means that we have to use it carefully, not recklessly but sometimes we never know if we don’t go & sadly, most of the situation is fly or die. When you hesitate, the chance is dead, long gone before daylight.
Yes life is something serious but it’s not like we gonna came out of it alive anyway he he. What matter is the journey not the destination, since the destination is dead (if you are religious probably afterlife is exist but it still counts as dead). What I’m trying to say is, in regarding of what happened to my friend earlier before, due to the fact that he afraid to start a new relationship or even propose to marry someone else & afraid of the uncertainty of the future, life is full of uncertainty, the only certain thing of life is the uncertainty it self.
My friend ask me a what if, what will happen when in the last second of his soon to be married or wedding party he chicken out & doubt that his girl is the right one or not. I say that we can never know about it, life is full of uncertainty. Sometime all we can do is go, prepare for the worse while expecting the best. What we can do is only go or not, the outcome of the circumstance is either the price we pay, or the prize we win. Kinda like gamble but life is just like that a big casino & the only option in the casino is go big or go home he he.
As for the questions that bring doubt in us, sometimes a question doesn’t need an answer. Sometime it’s a rhetorical question or just a question that makes us give more thought about it. Sometimes we just can’t get the answer, all we can do is just go. Everything happens for a reason (just like $hit happens) & maybe the decision we make is rite of passage for us to be a better person, to learn something, etc. Just like someone once said to me “if you put your whole faith for something or someone, either you will find a faith for a lifetime & person for our whole lifetime or a lesson to be learned for a lifetime”. Sometimes we don’t need an answer, just a leap of faith & the rest will follow. May God or other deity you worship help us in everything we do.