Should you prove to yourself that you’re nobody else?
It throws me everytime
Lay me aside
I’d die for my pride
My bones are buried alive
My heart is broken glass
In a plaster cast
It throws me everytime
I’ve found my place at last
Behind this mask
But I’m afraid you’re wasting your time
Recently, I have an interesting chat with my wife (yeah, somehow I got married ^_^) about lesbian colleague among her (& some homosexual friend of mine). The conversation become very details & uncomfortable even for me, a sick-twisted individual. Bottom-line, I once stands firm to support LGBT but as I grow older somehow I lost my faith in humanity, along with presumption of innocence, together with my support or tolerance toward LGBT. Also somehow Law & Order SVU have this episodes regarding gay people that become victim that makes me give more thought about it.
I have a friend in high-school that is gay, he confirmed it & he proud of it. So, my homo friend is a cliché gay (if such term exist), he was abused sexually when he was little by his neighbor, bullied by his peers because he is too girly for a guy, thus he embrace (or to be exact, consumed) by the perception & prejudice of those who deemed him as homo or gay. Thus I understand by his decision to become gay, also he didn’t intend to “wreck” others or influence or convert others to also become gay, though he became gay because some traumatic event not genetically.
There are cases when someone became transgender or gay because genetically they are “defected”. Say what you want but if you ask me, it’s like God screwed up on them (though some people will say that these kind of mutation is happening because we messed up with God creation with altering DNA, etc just like in comic that explains that mutant like the X-Men is the result of bio-weapon war in world war). If this is the case, I still support them since this is sort of out of control or seems like God f#*k up or probably make them as an example for others.
What’s interesting about me & my wife talks is the fact that nowadays, more & more LGBT individual trying to influence others to become like them or to convert straight into one of them. This is interesting since just like religion, people often brag about how they are proud of it. This is not wrong, but there are term “predator” (my wife’s lesbian friend also my gay friend’s confirm this) an individual that spread their believes (religion, LGBT, etc) in an aggressive, hostile even deadly measure. Example, my wife’s lesbian friend known another lesbian that loves to convert normal straight girl into lesbian. Her M.O. is approach normal girl which issue (low self esteem, father issue, betrayed by her boyfriend, etc) as a friend but along the way teach her the astonishing, sexually satisfying & emotionally comforting world of lesbian couple (what make them called predator is the fact that after they manage to convert someone into LGBT, they moves to prey others). This method can be applied to any believes (even to approach a girl with issue for hooking up, I saw many friends of mine doing it but fortunately they stick to that girl, so I guess they just wants to be knight in shining armor ^_^) is so effective that it is frightening to imagine how many LGBT or any others believes (terrorist, atheist, rebellion, etc) actually exist. They are hiding in plain sight without us aware of it.
Or I heard many stories how a normal straight guy convert into gay because he was experimenting with a transgender & found out that having same sex is more exciting than regular normal sex. Or other stories where some guy have to engaging same sex to lobby some project he working on then suddenly he found out that gay sex is exciting (co worker told me this story). This kind of gay is what bothers me so much since the decision to become gay or LGBT in general based on hedonistic urge for pleasure. These people are the slave of their own desire, their lust.
I know I sounds like a freak-out pro status quo that defy change while knowing that everything in this world is changing but the change itself, but no I’m not. Let me put it this way, LGBT people state that they are not anomalies, it’s the way of nature. LGBT or homosexual exist in animal, homophobic (or LGBT-phobic) only exist in human world. Sweet nothing because if we accept that, we also accept the fact that incest, killing, robbery, genocide, abandonment, theft, etc is also natural because it exist in animal kingdom. We are human, we supposed to be better than animal but unfortunately facts shows otherwise. In Abraham religion (Islam, Catholic, Protestant) it is stated that human is the most perfect being with the capability to use their brain or to be exact free will to determine for themselves how to live their life, guess we are animal after all?
I knew a lesbian that discover that she could be turned on by man (awkwardly she was turned on by me) then she experimenting to have sex with other man & found out she enjoys it. Did she become normal? No!!! She decided that she is bisexual, which if you ask me that she deny the fact that her lesbian tendency “just“ happens to be because she is disappointed by her former boyfriend that dumped her after took her virginity then she decided to be lesbian & took some of her friend to join her gang of lesbian (probably her ego won’t accept that she is not lesbian but just boy hater ^_^). I remember she said that my effort for trying to change her, or save her from be a lesbian (I do not, since I believe every adult is responsible for his or her own action. I don’t care if he leads her life into destruction as long as she doesn’t take me to that path) is futile & stated that if lesbian is someone who hasn’t found a right dick, straight people is someone who hasn’t find a same sex that compatible with them. Idiotic. Probably she just a lost cause or something.
Well, I was born from inter-faith family (mom Catholic dad Islam) so the word “thou shall not” (the term that so often appear in bible or Quran) is not really a big deal since I so open to many things (OK, I do drug once & occasional drinker, at least I stopped smoke) & also in today’s teaching, the term “Do not” is being banned due to the concern that kids development would be not optimal or limited because they are afraid of the term “Do not”. Probably this is why people love experimenting with anything, including homosexual or LGBT.
I admit that not everyone is ready or mature enough to open to new things. Some people are easily carried away. I guess that is what happens now, either we are to open or tolerance. I don’t know whether it is good or bad, is it natural or what. But I guess we just have to wait & see if maybe one day God will bring his wrath just like what happen to Sodom & Gomorrah, or maybe this is what the call natural way. Maybe we just an animal that pretends to have intelligent or free will.
Hell, I guess I have to get back to square one & support the LGBT. After all, I don’t care if someone is LGBT, have different faith with me, atheist, mutant or monster, as long as they are good people, its good enough. We never ask someone when they do good deed their religion, etc. If they are good, they are good. If you believe in God, let God sort which one is good or bad, who enter heaven or hell. Just be good to other. But I remembered this quote that reminds me of the values I believe, things that make me who I am :
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values