Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I’ve longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it’s you – only you – that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It’s like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so… I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let’s go home.
Dr. Manhattan – “Watchmen”
This Monday, my wife & I had to experience “shit happens” moment. We have to abort our “future kid”, the fetus is not growing the way it used to be so we have to do abortion since the little guy may have negative effect on my wife. Enough of it (it still breaks my heart), the thing that made me write this blog is the fact that the hospital that we came is have “special” treatment for every patient that came to pregnancy ward. Every patient is treated with outmost respect, even when the couples haven’t had a child yet. They treat patient as an elder, as a parent figure (they respect us with kissing our hand, an Indonesian custom to respecting elder).
This made me realize that it’s true that birth is one of those magical moments in life. A miracle in small proportion I dare to say. I’m a very cynical man, I have the tendency to disbelieve anything that doesn’t make sense (I had been in the “lost” state, I’ve been atheist, agnostic or any kind you might call) but seeing my fellow brother & sister gave birth, watching those children grow, I can say it is a miracle. Even in Islam, a child is a mandate, a borrowed miracle, bestowed on us by God himself.
I used to think that pregnancy is a divine comedy. Some married couple waited for years to have kid, even some didn’t have the chance at all but the funny thing is, some drunk women & children “accidentally” have an intercourse…presto pregnancy happened (how on earth a drunk supposedly half function couple able to conceive a baby????). As if god himself making a cruel joke or some crazy test to give those drunk couple a lesson to make things right (with the baby safety at stake).
Sometimes I also wonder, if a child birth, or every child is a miracle, why on earth is this planet filled with idiots. Morons, assholes or any other scum of the earth! Sometimes I wonder, is that the sperm that won the race? Maybe survival of the fittest is wrong since the intellect is choose not to breed (I guess intellect people use condom, married when older or financially stable, etc) while idiots are breeding like rabbit. Maybe the intellect decided that life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
Then again, like the quote from Watchmen above & my previous statement before, we are, all of us is some sort of miracle. I mean, still some of us is more stupid than other (way way way more stupid ^_^) but if you see from different perspective, we all are a miracle.
Sure there will be days when we feel so down, so worthless but do remember that our parents wait for us for approximately nine months (more or less, depends maybe you are premature). We are everything for them (if not they probably abort you), we are God’s gift (or curse it depends ^_^). Or like my friend once said, maybe we feel that we are nothing, but for someone, I don’t know who, we meant everything for that person.
Sure there are some people who hates everyone, specifically their family. I guess they just don’t know how lucky it is to still have parents or brother/sister, not everyone have that luxury. Some people are abandoned from the moment they came to this world. All I can say, at least they don’t get aborted. I mean, we can’t change the past but we can choose what we could be in the future. Even I feel jealous for adopted child that being adopted, I mean their parent choose them while most of other parent “stuck” with their “God’s gift” he he.
Maybe just like butterfly effect, if one person (no matter who he/she is) is erase from the existence, the outcome may alter or differ than the reality that we live in now, for better or worse. Maybe we all are a miracle, a miracle in small, tiny, micro proportion that may don’t have a significant effect…but for someone, we are the miracle.
Well, actually I don’t know what I was writing here, maybe I just try to understand why my “future child” doesn’t come into realization. But all I can say is, that “unborn child” is a miracle for us, even if this happens to be one of those “shit happens” moment. Maybe me & my wife it’s not prepared at the moment, maybe we have something better for us in the future (finger crossed ^_^).