Just Because Everyone Else Doing It, An Ideal That Went Wrong

It occurs to me when hearing pop song on the radio or watch it on TV is there’s a slight, or maybe a huge shifting of paradigm about love or to be exact, relationship. Pop song usually tells a song about love, a pure innocent sweet love but nowadays all I hear is about sex, promiscuous, physical appearance/experience, genital size, money, etc which is if you ask me, is an objectification of a person or maybe of love in general.

Love song nowadays somehow taught this generation a weird idea of love. People don’t respect boundary or even “belonging” anymore. One example is Ariana Grande’s “One Last Time” that told a story of a girl who regrets that she and the boy didn’t hook up and now even knowing the boy already have a girl, she still want to take the boy home (innuendo of having sex with the lyric “And I don’t care if you have her in your heart, as long as you’re wake up in my arms”). Or Jessie J’s “Bang Bang” that told a story about a girl who say to someone’s boyfriend that she can do better, sexually and the list of this kind of song are goes on and on. To make it worse, I think people taking the term “make love” or having sex as “love” which mean if you love someone it is obligatory to have sex with him/her.

Honestly, I can’t watch music video without a slight of nervousness that some explicit content showed up, OK as a guy I might enjoy it but as soon to be father I don’t approve something like this in mainstream media. Kids doesn’t need internet (though it helps. A lot) to access sexual content, they see it in daily life, with all the girls aiming to be sexy (which is if you ask me, when you aim to be sexy you’ll attract people who wants sex but I guess girls also enjoy sex, so…I don’t know…). I wonder if those girls became adult prematurely or boys became premature adult because sexual expose everywhere. Celebrities, older people (or peers), teachers, parents, everyone wants to be sexy, which if you ask me a very skin deep achievement that, like I mentioned earlier, have sex content (the word “sex” in sexy was there for a reason).

With this type of people as role model, no wonder we live in high infidelity era, or promiscuous era. But what I suspect of what happening here is far more sinister, or maybe naïve, an ideal that went wrong. So, in the old days, The Beatles just said “I wanna hold your hand”, then the edgier generation, the rebel like Rolling Stone said “Lets spend the night together”. In the old days rock, punk or any non-mainstream band who voiced the infamous “booty call” with explicit lyric. But I guess our generation doing a counter-culture or sub-culture or anything you want to call it to embrace the idea of being a rebel is cool, thus drug abuse, promiscuous, free sex, twerking are entering the mainstream and people just consume it because it’s cool & hip.

But there’s where it went wrong, just like people take the term make love the wrong way, people also take being a rebel, punk, promiscuous or anti-mainstream as cool without learning the ideology or reason behind it. We just do it because everyone else doing it, without second thought of the consequence or the reason of it. And to make it worse, most company just capitalizes or sells that idea, of being cool, edgy, being rebel, a ghetto, a gangsta without knowing the ideology behind it. We just consume it and become the victim of it, in the end, the things we own or choose end up owning or choosing us.

aGwwwXn_460sSadly, there’s no turning back, once you go black, you never go back (no racist pun intended). That’s why more white people embrace black culture, because it’s cool to be gangsta-ghetto, etc (now that’s racist I admit ^_^). I guess we’re living on decades of decadence. Honestly, I don’t know whether this is good or bad, I guess only time will tell if this thing our generation so fond of is good or bad. 80’s people consider disco is cool but now everyone looking it with disdain & disgust.

Some people will justify that they do the things they do because they against the mainstream, because not everyone doing it (free sex, drugs, etc). Some people will always try so hard to be different than mainstream. It’s OK to against it if the mainstream thing is wrong or stupid (like Kendall Jenner challenge or Charlie Charlie or whatever dumb things kids love these days) but some people try so hard to be different just to show that they are better than others or at least they think they are better. We called this type as Hipster. Is it wrong? I guess it’s not though it’s feels something is not right to underestimate others, but what is wrong is the fact that some hipster just consume that “different” without the ideology, they just like parasite that leave that “different” after everyone else realize that “different” is better, or cooler. So you can see that they are actually have more things in common with trend adopter than difference with those people they despise he he.

Being rebel used to be cool until everybody doing it
Being rebel used to be cool until everybody doing it

Funny how time will tell or probably change the way we look at things. Maybe I think what this generation thinks as cool or hip is classified as stupid (at least for me) because the value I grew up with. That’s what separates me from being hipster because I know exactly what I like, though I tried to be open for new things as long as those things have me interested or for a good cause. I guess I’m lucky to be called geek, nerd, weirdo for liking comic, manga, anime, etc from the early years since now being a nerd is kinda cool or being tech geek is kinda sexy for some girls nowadays.

So, I guess we can’t judge people just because they love mainstream or hipster, or anything, only God, or judge have the capacity to judge. But I think it would be better to understand the ideology, the reason of doing something rather than it is a trend or everyone else is doing it so why can’t we train of thought. If joining a cult or committing suicide is a trend would you follow it? Or if having sexually transmitted disease is cool because it shows that you have sex with many people would you follow it? It’s an extreme example but like I mentioned earlier, some naïve action of ignorance can bring a terrible consequence (e.g. throwing garbage not in the appropriate container may lead to flood, making fun of people may make someone commit suicide or any other butterfly effect). After all, if you get used to something or doing something frequently, it will become a habit and in the long run habit will become your character, don’t forget about that.

Just because everyone else doing it doesn’t mean that it right, just because everyone else don’t do it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. What is right is right even if everyone else deny it, what is wrong is wrong even if everyone else accept it. What if you’re right and everyone else is wrong? Please do the things you do because it’s right, but please understand that “right” is have to be objective, not because you think its right, please give a second thought before doing something, understand the consequence, the cons & pros and do it because it is the right thing to do (don’t mean to be preaching since me, myself still trying to do the “right” thing, at least for me & my family and the values I believe in ^_^).


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