Victim Mentality


I just realized that I saw a trend in people nowadays that we, tends to blame everyone else but ourselves if something bad happened to us. Our unfortunate luck, or something like that, somehow became an excuse to be whiny, self pity, or even to have people root to us or sympathetic and show support to us.

It’s good to know that people care about us, because most people just curious not care, they act like they care, but we just accept it as if people care about us, or at the very least they acknowledge our existence by showing that they curious about what happen to us. Don’t know why but some people really love to get the upper hand because of act of pity by others. As if it’s some kind of privilege or something, I thought the privilege is when we give our hand to help others, not asking for help. What makes it worse, people do this just to get the drama and the attention, and they don’t care about if the problem can be solved or not, they just want to complain about it.


Don’t get me wrong, I have a friend who is handicapped by definition and probably need help, his eye sight is very blurry due to the accident when his eyes were damaged by chemical in elementary school. He needs an assistant to read his test or special application to read his electronic message. He hates the fact that people looking down at him, as if he is powerless or need others in order to survive or exist (true in some way though). He live his life to prove everyone else that they are wrong to treat him as “inferior”, in his own perception that is, to be looked down, under estimate him, or even pity him.

That’s why he feels some sort of connection with me because I always mock him just like I mock others. I always make fun of him, right in from of him like I mock others. He thinks that I treat him as an equal guy. But honestly, I put him at my utmost proper respect, even above others, I salute him because if I’m at his position I don’t know if I able to fight, study and strive the way that he did. At the moment he use his law diploma and work as law practitioner while I use my law diploma to became slave to the wage and corporate robot ha ha. I guess he is like a personal hero to me.

My friend taught me not to be a victim, to take action of our own life, not blaming others for what happens. To be a player rather than a victim, to take responsibility of everything that happens in our life. That’s what is lacking in most people these days. They whine, ask for attention, pity, sympathy or even mercy from others every time bad things happens to them. I guess it’s easier to point a finger and blame others rather than taking responsibility for our own action, because everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is because we do stupid things (and we are too dumb to accept that it’s our fault to begin with).

I guess that’s what also happens with bullying. Honestly, we can’t make act of bully extinct, that’s human nature, or even act of nature to prey on weaker being, to make fun of it or to become the food or entertainment for stronger being. We can’t get rid of it, but we can teach our kids to stand up for themselves rather than wearing pink ribbon or make a law that forbid it. Yes our kids might be get beaten up while defending themselves, but at the very least it shows themselves, and the bully, that they will not go down without a fight, they have pride and spirit to survive rather than rely others just to stand on their feet.


OK, some people will say that, “You don’t understand what I’ve been through! How dare you say that I was a nuisance to whine about my problems?” That’s the keyword, “my problem”, it’s not everyone’s problem, why we have to waste our time & effort listening to your whine? Honestly, the world will keeps on turning even if you’re dead because of your problem. It’s not the end of the world. You might think this is cruel, but that’s how the world is, that’s how life is. The world will never be fair, deal with it.


What I mean to be a player rather than a victim is this, you take the control of “your” life, not the world, but your life. It’s impossible to predict the outcome of this world, or any series of unfortunate events that may occur to you, but at the very least you can take control of how you would react to it.

Some might say that all the bad thins that happens to them as a challenge, a stepping stone, to become a better you, while some people will whine about it. How you deal with it that would makes a different. So, I guess it’s about time that we take action & control of our life rather than just whining, became the victim of our own stupidity and do nothing about it.


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