Words like violence/Break the silence/Come crashing in/Into my little world/Painful to me/Pierce right through me/Can’t you understand/Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted/All I ever needed/Is here in my arms/Words are very unnecessary/They can only do harm
Vows are spoken/To be broken/Feelings are intense/Words are trivial/Pleasures remain/So does the pain/Words are meaningless/And forgettable
Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode
Recently, I have the “privilege” of not listening to music when I’m on my way home in commuter line because my cell phone battery is really low. I realize one thing at that very moment, how full of noise this world is. Even when people on that train don’t talk to each other, some have a little chat but not frequently, the noises are uncanny (like the grinding gear, people’s breath, etc).
I wonder is that is the reason I wear my earphone everywhere? Because of all the noise in this world? Honestly, if this world doesn’t have all that noise I probably will create the noise with the music I played ha ha. It’s kind of spooky or awkward if there’s no sound. Ever try to sleep with no sound? You’ll hear the clock ticking, the sink dripping, even snoring sometimes. And it’s somehow deafening to the point it annoyed you till you can’t sleep & sometimes drives you nut. I never knew that silence is such an awful sound.
Talk about deafening silence, I remember about the quietest room in the world, Orfield Laboratory. So quite that you can hear your own heartbeat, inflicting hallucination and considered as torture ha ha. No one can stand in it more than 45 minutes.
If you ask me, silence is inevitable, imagine when electricity is out, when all battery is depleted. We will be left with silence. I guess we have to learn to live with it. In my religion, Islam, it was common to do prayer in the middle of the night where everything is quite in order to reach high concentration & get in touch with God. I guess meditation is also use the silence to achieve higher or deeper knowledge about our self.
Strangely, I also experience a new form of meditation called “Mindfulness” taught by Ivandeva, from one of the training which my office provides to boost employee motivation to work harder (which is for me somehow makes me wants to quit even more ha ha). Honestly, it’s not that different by any other meditation, what makes it have more impact (at least for me), is because it was taught by the guy who knew & probably masters it. Sure it might sounds or seems like mumbo jumbo for some, but for me I found it kind of useful.
This meditation makes me appreciate what I always take for granted all this time, the fact that I breathe. I realize that I just breathe automatically all this time, and when I realize how my whole body reacts to the process of how I breathe somehow it’s like my mind open to how amazing my body is, or how my internal organ is. As I breath my lungs is become wider and bigger filled with air, as I exhale my lungs become smaller and my chest also reacts to it, etc you know how the process go anyway.
Let’s just say I become aware of my surrounding in slightly in a deeper way than before. I used to be annoyed by noises around me but that mindfulness taught me not to deny it but rather acknowledge it and try to make peace of it (trust me it’s harder to do than said). At first I was distracted by the noises but this method somehow try to make peace and say to myself in a suggestive way “there are noises around me, but please try to focus to you, how you breath, how your body do the breathing process. Focus on what’s important. That’s what I do and somehow all that noises doesn’t matter anymore, the noises still there but it doesn’t bother me as much as before because I know I have to focus on what really matter, in this case how I breathe.
If I try to look deeper, this also taught me to be more open-minded because others believe, others faith, taste, etc is like noises that I found annoying at first. And just like the meditation taught me, not to deny it but rather acknowledge it without effecting what’s important, our own self, our own believe our own taste, etc.
We can’t predict or arrange what happen around us, or what will happen in the future, just like those noises are always there, it’s inevitable. What we can do or what can we be certain of is how we react to them. Not playing victim but take control as player (somehow just like my previous blog though). In this case, I focus on the thing that matter, us, and how we react to our surrounding, either expecting the worse while hoping for the best or just screw it and don’t give a damn anyway ^_^.
This is somehow makes me realize that next time when I forgot to bring my earphone or my cell running out of battery so I can’t listening to music or radio, I can enjoy the silence, enjoy the noises around me while listening to what my thought really matter, gossip or overhearing what others said ha ha. I think I can enjoy the silence now, unlike the old me. I guess I can separate noises and sounds or any other thing for all that matter just a little bit more so that somehow the silence doesn’t sound scary anymore.