Love Should Be A Verb not a Noun


Seeing that post somehow snaps me, we all got the wrong idea about love. Or maybe love become distorted by the so-called realities (which actually probably just opinions rather than facts). Love is tainted by what we now perceived as love as in make love, sex, abusing relationship (that somehow called loyalty these days), etc. Hell, we pictured love as a “noun”, as something that needed to be defined, to be give meaning to or define as. We forgot that love is actually needed to be proved, by action, thus I believe love is a “verb”, something that needed to be done, to be taking as action rather than give meaning to.

Love is something that you do, not what you say, and maybe not what you feel, just like Liam Neeson said, sometimes we mixed love with envy, jealousy, fear, etc. Love, the one we feel, is probably byproduct of those mixed feeling, IMHO though. I remember that my friend once said that “Love is never wrong”…really? I guess it’s those mixed feeling that he feels although most people believe the “all is fair in love and war” train of thought. No wonder stupid thing called love could cause some of the most idiotic tragedy such as Trojan Horse or Romeo & Juliet, if only they could use their head instead off “love” or heart or whatever you might call it, that tragedy could’ve been prevented.

Well, I guess the so called love is wrong when you can’t tell the difference between lust, sexual attraction / booty call, etc which some people identified as love. No wonder some people having a toxic relationship. Personally, I’m the type that didn’t believe in love at first sight. I think that spur of moment is more appropriate with lust, curiosity, awe, admiration or even sexual attraction. I think what makes a relationship works is commitment, and commitment is something that you do, something that you work hard for, which is suited with the fact that love is more appropriate as a verb rather than a noun.


Johnny Depp once said the famous, which I found interestingly dumb, quote that said if you love a person then falling in love with another person, you should choose the latter. Why? Because if you love the first person you wouldn’t fallen for the latter. Really? He must be never have spur of the moment like buying / splurging new-shiny-hip-trendy item that later on he regretted because he realize that he actually doesn’t need it or the older stuff is more suitable or better for him. If you think he is a good role model for “love” he got “divorced” from his first lover, they didn’t married because he doesn’t want to ruin his girlfriend beautiful name from Paradis into Depp (talk about commitment issue) and they also already have a children from their relationship (though a it’s common thing in the west I guess).

Some people classified love as a noun, as something that stands on its own. Even I know some people said that love is their religion. If you ask me, as a noun love consist of that many emotion you feel toward someone. Awe, obsession, curiosity, admiration, jealousy, etc that you do toward the thing that became the object of your affection or you probably called love.


Please try to differentiate between love and other feeling before you make a stupid decision and then blame love, love hurt, love is blind, love suck, etc. Even the so-called friend-zone happens because one party expectation is far greater than the other. And just like I mentioned earlier, sometimes it happens because you don’t work it out (like unrequited love because you never express your feeling, give up on your love because you thought you didn’t have a chance, etc). It’s what you do that defines you, not who you are underneath, that also applied in love situation. If you don’t tell that person your feeling toward him/her, they’ll never know it. Unless they have the ability to read your mind. If he/she rejects you, it’s his/her right since it takes two to tango (love). And that feeling is forever. Love not just toward your object of affection, but to your family, God, yourself, etc.

There’s an old saying “if you love someone you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse”, that’s what I think love is. At the moment I work at a place where I spent most of my time in office rather than with my family, especially in work days. I admit this isn’t healthy and unfortunately almost every middle class worker experience the same way as I do. We became slave to the wage and corporate robot. What snaps me is due to the fact that my wage is not enough to support my family and unfortunately my office is abolishing extra time for manager due to efficiency and manager wage is bigger than staff, which makes the wage gap between staff and manager is so thin due to the fact that we work at the same period.

These condition makes me resolve to resign after my contract is over (I have 3 years duty obligation) and search other job or even work as uber driver if I have to. Maybe the salary is smaller but I have more time to spend with my family, which I guess makes it all worthwhile. I hope that this action I’m going to take will make my family happier or at least they can understand my decision. I’m going to put them as priorities, I’ve had enough of making them choices while sugarcoating it with I work my @$$ off for them or any other excuses for not being there when they need me.

I guess that’s how I’m going to show them how much I love them. It’s my way to find a way to spend my time with them. It’s crazy in economic situation like this but if I have to choose I’d rather be with my family rather than in office. Maybe I can’t afford a good education in private school or the latest gadget, but I guess I have to prepare myself & my family to make the best of what we’ve got. I hope I will made a good decision and my family (and God) will support me.



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