Recently, in Indonesia there’s a story about Karin Novilda, a girl that once a sweet smart girl that turned into “selebgram” (celebrity in instagram and YouTube or just search her account @awkarin) and her appearance is 180 degree different than her previous image.
She was once the smartest girl, reach the highest grade in national exam, wear glasses & hijab in Riau (one of Indonesia’s province outside of Java Island). She swears to leave aside laptop, cell-phone, internet, etc to focus on her study. She went to Jakarta and then, she changed, a lot. She changed her appearance into sexy, blonde, “typical cool girl” we saw on TV or something. Became celebrity in instagram with many followers, endorser. Posting sexy picture, sometimes inappropriate public display of affection and said dirty word, etc. Sadly, she became “cool” in some way he he.
I’m not here to say she is wrong or something. Maybe this is what she wants or something. I’m here to take a lesson from her, this story could be us! Her story could be our story, this could happen to everyone. Abraham Lincoln once said “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power “ and that’s what happened here, she gain “power”, which in this case, popularity, maybe money (she was endorsed by some products) and fame.
People might say, she changed because Riau & Jakarta is way too different, small town & big city. Or may peer pressure to try something new or in order to be accepted in new environment. Or maybe because she was far from her parents control whatsoever. Or maybe her parents are too strict so that after she went to the city she abuses her so-called freedom. Or because she have a boyfriend (which is for some hijaber, girl who wearing hijab or veil, as indecent, they should’ve just married after getting know each other to prevent unwanted outcome). All of that I mentioned could be true, and that’s why my heartache so damn much about this.
As a parent, I worried that this could be happened to my son in the future. I once heard some stranger talks about inter-faith relationship in warteg (some local semi-permanent food stall in Indonesia). One guy asked whether he or his girlfriend should switching faith in order for their relationship to be legally binding (married). The other guy answers it with an answer so good that it stuck in my head for a long time. He said, “There are 3 things that you should never, ever, “sacrificed” for anything in this world; pride, family and the most important, religion or your God. If your love is against those 3 principle, I advice you to look somewhere else bro. If that’s love, it comes at much too high a cost”. I wholeheartedly approve it. I wrote many times in my blog that people shouldn’t change who they are, their identity, but rather adapt and applied their new insight to their own identity, value or religion.
I also have a friend who can be categorized as “Karin” back in college. She was a goody daughter, devoted Moslem and smart girl. Then when I was in Bandung (I go to college in Bandung), I met her in a club, dressing “too open” for a Moslem, smokes & drinks alcohol, etc. I was once asked her what happen to the good old her & she said that she waits a lifetime to get away, to be far from her parents clutches so she can be “free”. She tired to be good, to be what her parents asked her to be (rather than what she wanted to be), etc. I guess she abuse the so called freedom. The last time I met her, she said karma hits her in the face when she married and have kids. She realized why her parents is too strict and all that jazz he he.
IMHO, Karin changed because she doesn’t have enough “foundation” of who she really is. That’s why she changed so much. She probably just “following the flow”, try to catching up with newest trend, enjoying become “cool kids” or thinking that rebelling against parents is cool, or maybe being sexy is becoming adult or something.
I was lucky to find what I really love from early age, though what interests me is something that were once considered geek, weird or even stupid (I love video game, manga, comic, anime & toys). My antisocial behavior also helps me to don’t give a damn of what people say or think about me. I was lucky not to have those “phase” that embarrassed me when I look at my early days. Maybe my life is boring & dull for some, but I really glad that I live my life the way I wanted to, though there are some “compromise” like entering law school rather than literature or psychology but somehow the kid in me still intact, I’m a kid trapped in adult body ha ha.
I’m afraid that my son could be like Karin. Drifted apart from the values, moral code or religion that I will taught to him. True maybe someday in the future he will change, but I hope he will still remember or keeping his “identity”, his religion and the values that I taught. Hope even if he changed, he will adapt rather than completely throw away his so-called identity.
I hope I could be the dad that he can share his problem, be the person he looked up to, be his hero or at the very least, the person he can always depends on if he facing adversity, or even when he gain power. I hope that this Karin lesson will always be a reminder of how I should react or what I should taught to my son in the future.