Recently, I have a nice and insightful conversation with my friend regarding mental health. She have experienced some burden, some baggage that might explode. To make it more subtle, she decided to ended things…many things. But unlike most people who pretend to have mental issue and use it for content or to make engagement on social media, she decided to go to professional. An admirable effort knowing most people deny to have mental issue because it makes them “weak”, vulnerable or even in some case, borderline crazy, some people use mental issue like a badge of honor for attention or clout in social media nowadays sadly. I hope her visit to therapy would make her better and hopefully no medicine needed.
Before you came at me regarding why I against using medicine to ease mental health, I tell you why I against it. My son is a child with ADHD and at the moment he is on the path to make him more focus and calm. Thank God my wife didn’t accept the suggestion of using medicine because one of my son friend (also a child with ADHD) use it and he went into state of dumbfounded, daydream or even drunk-catatonic. Seriously, to see a child once so active somehow became…quiet to the verge of sleep but not sleeping is kinda ugly sight to behold. And this medicine also have addictive potential. No wonder most people with mental issue have addiction to their medicine….but seek professional advice and have second or even third opinion regarding this to ensure the medicine is in proper dosage or usage.
Back to the topic, I don’t wanna talk about mental issue since I can’t do justice for it, though I suspect my son ADHD is an amplification from me. If you know me, I usually carry a pen just to play with it. At first I thought just to kill time but I just realize that I needed distraction to make me more focus. Like I needed white noise, radio, TV or song to occupy myself into more focus. Maybe I also have ADHD but somehow I manage to control it. Hope my son can learn to focus his anxiety into something like I did.
And that’s what happened to gen Z at the moment. Over-stimulant from music, social media, lights, etc makes them hard to focus. They needed validation and too many consideration from outside of themselves. With too many stimulant, it’s hard to differentiate noises and voices, what is more important, what is bring more benefit, etc.
I once have a F#%K ratio theory that when we were young, we gave f#%k to many things, even the least important things. We give f#%k what people think of us, why some people don’t like us, even petty things like celebrity gossip or which one is better, iOS or android, etc. And as I grew older, I don’t have many f#%k left to give. So I just give a f$#k to what is important to me, the hell with others think or say. My neighbor could be serial killer or Satan worshipper and don’t care if they kept their darkest secret from themselves and stay away from my family. Maybe it’s just me channeling my energy to something that is “more important” to me.
At least that’s what I believe, I have no more f*$k left to give until I realize from my conversation with my friend, that I actually do care, I just don’t show it or even numb myself in order for me to keep my sanity. But sometimes it’s not the best course of action, my friend told me that she have many unresolved issue or things that she just didn’t care enough. From her experience as foreigner in foreign country, self-reliant and don’t give a f#$k sometimes is the best way to move forward, but sometimes it is a time bomb waiting to explode. She mentioned that she is due to her resilient, she stuck on her “stressor” for quite a long time.
This stressor can be anything, family, pet, work, etc. Maybe she didn’t realize, or didn’t care and this act of self-numbing is closed to the resilience as well as detachment, the didn’t give a f#%k attitude. The output can be good or bad, for me so far it’s not bad, I guess being middle-class, I don’t have luxury of aware regarding mental issue, but in her case, the output is bad. I love her metaphorical, just like acne that didn’t treat right might be bad for your face ha ha. Her therapy actually mentioned that quick stress relief is not effective, for her, she needed something more. A huge task and hopefully she can find resolution to this issue.
And sadly, since mental issue is becoming hot topic, I kinda hate the fact that society somehow makes it normal to have issue rather than cure it. Just like society embrace LGBTQ-etc (I don’t know what other alphabet they added since it kinda embracing anything nowadays, I just called it alphabet people from now on) and makes it normal for things that supposedly not normal, like genderless, I know I sounded like bitter-old-man and I’m probably is, but don’t tell me to accept people that even can’t accept their appointed gender from birth. I don’t have problem with them as long as they just being themselves and minding their own business, but it’s the act that we all have to accept it despite our belief is what irritating me. Don’t modern society accept agree to disagree? If I’m against it I’m a homophobic, etc. There are no middle ground or something?
Most of people I know that identify as the alphabet people actually have issue that didn’t resolve in their past, like sexually abuse, or something. Only small margin just bored of normal sex and try same sex and they hooked up and decided that this is the way for them ha ha. So yeah, mostly it happened to mental issue, according to my bias observation though (no data to support).
I can rambling about it all day despite I said that I don’t give a f#%k which ironically shows that deep down inside, I do care. So yeah, that’s why some people decided to delete their social media account, to have some peace of mind. Like what I wrote long time ago in this blog. Social media, this interconnected society makes us can communicate with people so far away that probably doesn’t need our attention. As if we can’t differentiate between voices and noises. Just like my old blog, we actually didn’t need validation from everyone, just the one who matter the most. Our family or inner circle. Sadly social media makes the boundary too fluid or lose and we give a f#%k for every noises from social media.
So what’s the conclusion? Well, just like words from some book or from someone regarding to find what our purpose is or what matter most for us, pay attention to what are you paying attention to. Those things probably matters most to you. Also when we were young, the didn’t give a f%#k attitude is cool but as I’m getting older, I realize that being care enough for someone else is also cool and show that you’re responsible. And next time people say they don’t care, probably they just don’t show it, or at the very least curious though ha ha. I mean once we care enough for something, it’s hard to just don’t care to things that we once care, probably like the title said, It’s Not Like I didn’t care, I just didn’t show it
Sounds of Giberish 